1939 – The year of the glowing wand

April 24, 2012 By Trish Walraven Leave a Comment

Welcome to the latest edition of Timewarp Tuesdays, where you are NOT asked to click your heels three times, or threatened to have houses dropped on your relatives, or coerced to chant “there’s no place like home” because there was much more to 1939 than overbudget Hollywood films.

Like Tube Lights! There were tube lights, the precursors to fiber optics, in ginormous scale. Wands! To deliver light to the unlit crevices of orificies from Omaha to Oregon to Oz.

Click on the photo below to see this excerpt from the March 1939 issue of Popular Science in its full-size:

This looks pretty amazing for the time, actually. And it makes me wonder if our isolites, our fiber-optic handpieces, our loupe-mounted headlights, and other super-LED tech will seem quaint in another 70 years. And if so, what will replace them? Teeth lit from the inside? A glowing pink ball that drops from the ceiling and slowly expands to fully illuminate the oral cavity?

In the end it’s about the power of the light, something that is essential for our practice. Maybe Glenda said it best back in 1939:

“You’ve always had the power, my dear. You’ve had it all along.”

Judicial dream patients (or not)

March 26, 2012 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

Today is a big day for dental and medical subscribers and their families across our country.

Health Care Reform: Opening Day At The Supreme Court

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/health-care-reform-supreme-court_n_1373333.html

The fate of the Affordable Care Act is in the hands of the nine Supreme Court justices of our country. They will discuss and listen to arguments on the bill that went into law just two years ago under President Obama.

These highly educated and important people will have many options to weigh over the course of three days during their debates as the American public awaits the outcome of the healthcare reform law.

As a dental care provider and fellow taxpayer, I kindly ask the current patients in the waiting room to continue to wait a bit more as I move up our nation’s Supreme Court justices in my hygiene schedule to have their teeth scaled immediately. I have vital opinions to share with each judge that simply cannot wait. It won’t take long, however. I shall address all of them in the reception area first to efficiently utilize production time.

Me: “Now, Your Honors- Judge Scalia, please put that magazine down and pay attention.”

Judge Scalia: “But it’s the new People issue. I don’t get this at home.”

Me: “That’s not important. The country’s future- Judge Roberts? That’s totally disgusting. Get your finger out of your nose.”

Judge Roberts: “But I don’t have any tissue. Alito stole my fanny pack.”

Judge Alito: “I did not! I just borrowed it, ya poopbag.”

Me: “Please, settle down, people. We don’t have time here… where’s Judge Thomas?”

Judge Sotomayor: “He’s in the bathroom- AGAIN! I wouldn’t go in there for awhile.”

Judge Breyer: “You think you’re all that because you went to JLo’s house that one time for a stupid dinner party.”

Judge Sotomayor: “You’re just jealous cus you don’t get invited anywhere.”

Me: “Both of you- stop. There are other patients here tha-”

Judge Kagan: “Excuse, me, Ms. Watson, but Judge Kennedy keeps poking me with his pen.”

Judge Kennedy: “It’s because you won’t move over, Kagan!”

Judge Kagan: “You have more than enough room, Kennedy. You’re a fartface.”

Me: “Now, stop it!”

Judge Ginsburg: “Is there somewhere I can get a Mountain Dew? I’m really thirsty.”

Me: “No. Sit down.”

Judge Thomas: “Whew! No one go in the bathroom for awhile. I dropped a sulfur bomb.”

Judge Scalia: “Sulfur bomb! Dude, that’s hilarious!”

Judge Ginsburg: “Isn’t there a 7-Eleven down the street? I really need some sugar.”

Judge Kennedy: “Kagan, move over already!”

Judge Sotomayor: “Leave her alone. You’re so mean, Kennedy.”

Judge Roberts: “Scalia, don’t think you’re off the hook. I want my fanny pack.”

Judge Scalia: “Dude, why do you even have a fanny pack? Did your mommy give that to you?”

Judge Roberts: “Shutup, man!”

I’m not gonna use any topical on any of them. Little crappers…

Dream patient of the week

January 24, 2012 By Eva Watson 4 Comments

Remember that oath we took at graduation? I remember that oath. I swore, along with my classmates, that I would carry out the very best dental care to any and all patients who sat in my operatory chair; regardless of gender, race, or socioeconomic status, I promised to give everyone the best treatment I could.

I also remember wanting to hurl myself into the bathroom. The speech I had to give moments before gave me nervous diarrhea really bad.

We have our clinical side. Then we have our human side. The clinical side is a given: do what we were trained to do. My human side? A bit more personal. I tend to muse about extra-special people that I would give anything to have in my chair. Anything. Just once. And it’s because of their gender, race, SES, political ideology, etc., that I must perform my titillating hygiene duties on them.

We all have our idiosyncrasies. My OCD compels me to share mine. Hee-heeee!

Dream Patient of the Week: Steven Colbert

Mr. Colbert, if there’s any chance you accidentally enter this site while surfing the internets for plaque-disrupting inspiration, I would like you to know that I love you. Every American-y, flag-waving inch of you. I adore you. Are you tall? I like tall. You appear taller than John Stewart. I also like suits. You wear a lot of suits. I like that. And I’m not crazy. My husband tolerates me just fine. He’s just playing Skyrim again.

I love your smile. I love the way you single me out and point that finger at me when you’re in my television. I love your ties, your glasses, and your opening-credit eagle that swoops into my face and shrieks hello. That eagle looks like it’s gonna fly right into me. Here it comes– wheeeee! I like that eagle.

I will also state the obvious: I love your teeth.

Let me see those patriotic beauties- oh! There they are. I don’t care how much calculus is on them. I love every one of your teeth equally. If you had the blackest, most tenacious chunks of bad boy tartar stuck to every inch of enamel in your mouth, I would still love you. That’s not strange, Mr. Colbert. That’s dedication. All I ask is for the chance to have you lay waaaay back on my USA-made operatory dental chair while I give you such a stone-cold, subgingival scaling it will flip your cyclopean Super PAC, baby.

And, after I gently marinate your inflamed gums with a superfreaky course of chlorhexidine gluconate, I would like to hold your hands and teach you how to floss… properly. That’s right.

In closing, I would appreciate an opportunity to express my respect and admiration of your brain… because it’s silly. You have a silly brain.

Dental bloopers reel

January 13, 2012 By Trish Walraven 1 Comment

Sometimes the best marketing angle is happened upon by accident. Today I just fell in love with the women of this dental practice because they were brave enough to post this “outtakes” video on their practice website. See what I mean:

Want an eye-opener for contrast? Go to the full website and browse through the “real” videos sprinkled along their page tops. I’m sorry, but they’re flat. Where did the real personalities go? Now they just look and sound like any other dental team that’s going all “flaming logo” with their online presence.

This is proof that we all can ditch some of the formality and instead take a side turn down spontaneous lane. If you have that spark of fun in your office, let it show. Big. Bigger. You are awesome, remember?

And save some of that high-end tech for your dental equipment.

ADA Session No-Nos

October 14, 2011 By Trish Walraven 2 Comments

For the most part, the American Dental Association meeting in Las Vegas this past week was a dignified, educational, and exciting exhibition. On the other hand, this article is dedicated to some of the stuff that didn’t go over so well.

Exhibit No. 1: Booth Babes

Really? If this is what it takes to sell your dental products, you probably need better products. Hot girls are nice and all, but you seem to have forgotten that half of dentists these days are women themselves.

Exhibit No. 2: Excessive use of color

I get it already. But yellow is the least of the problems here.

Exhibit No. 3: Roll it, don’t fold it

When you only have one thing hanging up at your booth, you really should make sure that thing isn’t creased and messy-looking.

Exhibit No. 4: Voyeurism

An interproximally wedged bit of corned beef begged me to visit the Sonicare AirFloss demo after lunch, and of course I’d been wanting to try it out ever since its preview here at DentalBuzz. What I didn’t realize was that a bunch of people would be peeking their heads around the corner from the sinks while I shot microbursts between my teeth.

Exhibit No. 5: You look stupid

There’s two ways to get into this group. If you’re getting paid to look like a fool, hey, in this economy, at least you have a job! And then there’s the second way, which proves that paper crowns should only be passed out to small children at Burger King.

Exhibit No. 6: Pretentious company names

But the URL was available!!!! Even the kids wearing the orange shirts look skeptical.

Exhibit No. 7: Unpretentious company names

And sometimes you should try harder to come up with a name for your business.

Exhibit No. 8: Pawn Stars

Editing is a reality TV show’s best friend, as evidenced by the Pawn Stars Roadshow held at the ADA meeting.There were the obligatory purchases of dental gold (3.5 ounces for $2,000, on one sale) but for the most part the items that were brought on the stage for appraisal were met with yawns, disinterest, and concerns about authenticity.

One thing’s true though: the reality show’s stars are the real deal. What you see on the History Channel’s number one show is what you get. Not only did pawn shop owner Rick Harrison share his story about how he became the “media whore” that he is today (his words, not mine) and his experiences in the dental chair, we got a glimpse of the real Chumlee Russell when he accidentally fell off the back of the stage. Now I know why there are “I Heart Chumlee” shirts for sale all over Vegas.

Exhibit No. 9: Bad planning

So, you create a display area for a show that’s esthetically pleasing and then JACK IT UP with loud hand-scribbled posters. Either they forgot to offer a show deal or it’s genius marketing to make it look like they’re going out of business and have the BEST SHOW SPECIAL EVER! And what’s with the unapproachable chick stance? Wow, tough sell.

Exhibit No. 10

There’s no exhibit number ten. I just wanted to make fun of this guy again: