Fun – Page 5

Chuck Norris implants

August 15, 2011 By Trish Walraven 2 Comments

Just in case you missed the rash of Chuck Norris facts that Chuck Norris himself loves to cheese about on the talk show circuit, here’s a quick cluster of ’em written by periodontist and private surgical tutor Anthony Reganato, DDS, MS.

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To me, a “Chuck Norris” implant is not one that is threaded into place with a handpiece. A “Chuck Norris” implant actually spins the patient around and around until the implant is sitting exactly where it wants to sit…

A “Chuck Norris” implant does not require an osteotomy, anesthesia, flap, or even a patient to be seated in the mouth.

A” Chuck Norris” implant can be immediately placed after roundhouse kicking the bombed-out tooth right out of the mouth.

A” Chuck Norris” implant does not have threads…the outer coating is merely shaking in its boots just knowing that a can of whoop-ass may be unleashed at any time…

A “Chuck Norris” implant provides its own sedation to the patient…no need for drugs or tubes…also provides its own pre-med.

A “Chuck Norris” implant needs only one to be placed for an entire full mouth reconstruction.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can be placed via extra-oral approach and still end up in the ideal prosthetic position.

A “Chuck Norris” implant drives itself to the dental office in a 1965 ‘Vette everyday until it’s finally used…

A “Chuck Norris” implant is prosthetically compatible with every system except Zimmer… “Chuck Norris” implant just don’t play that.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can be inserted upside down and still work just fine.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can cure cancer.

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Now that your ruggedness has been piqued, you’ll want to YouTune here into Anthony’s Reganato Lecture Series and tap, tap deeply into your own inner spring of surgical ChuckNorrisdom.

So what have you seen “Chuck Norris” implants do? How have they helped your patients?

Quizno’s creatures need ortho treatment

August 4, 2011 By Trish Walraven Leave a Comment

by Trish Walraven

It’s a shame that these commercials, first broadcast during the 2004 Superbowl, were upstaged by Janet Jackson’s “stardom” during the halftime show that day. I thought that it was utterly brilliant marketing, even better than the commercials that went totally silent and you’d have to peek your head around the corner to see why your TV turned off. I mean, this campaign is the epitome of the proof that marketers will do whatever it takes to get your attention.

So if you agree with me that these were the silliest, funnest commercials of the time, especially because secretly you found yourself doing a subconscious ortho workup on the pre-adolescent mess of a dentition, then you now get your chance to revisit them here.

Our little freaky bowler hat hobgoblin is acting shy about showing his jacked-up smile at first. Open please, and bite your back teeth together.

Or just sing for us, okay?

Yes, you have a pepper bar, and you’re cute in a “I can’t unsee that” kind of way. But did you have to go all Sistine Chapel on us?
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Poultry pearly-whites

July 18, 2011 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

by Eva Watson

Notable people are not of this earth; they are quintessentially, superhero-perfect in every way. From their sparkly, alien eyes to their effervescent way they secretly speak to us through television, film, books and music, their aura of mesmerizing personalities and fan-stalking abilities truly places them on a much higher plane of being. They are alluring. They are special.

And most would not give me the time of day.

But I must be able to touch the divine; I must know about their teeth.

William Jablonsky, professor of English at Loras College and author of The Indestructible Man (Livingston Press) and his most recent novel, The Clockwork Man (Medallion Press), granted me permission to briefly ask about his oral health regimen and his thoughts on electric toothbrushes.

DB: Why is oral health important to you?

WJ: Primarily because I don’t want to look like a stereotypical Englishman, nor to have breath that can peel the chrome off a trailer.

DB: If you had to choose between flossing in the morning or night which would you choose and why?

WJ: I feel fortunate that I do not have to choose, but if I did, the morning, simply because that’s when I’d actually be thinking about it.

DB: What would be the ultimate feature of an electric toothbrush?

WJ: One that has a built-in Taser. I prefer my methods of self-defense to be non-lethal.

DB: What would be the best tasting toothpaste ever?

WJ: Chicken tikka masala-flavored toothpaste. No one would buy it but me, but I’d buy all of it.

Why the toothpaste industry hasn’t begun to develop alternative-flavored toothpaste is a mystery to me, but clearly, huge changes are needed to meet the demand for those who desire the dentifrice, taste sensation that is meat.

Dr. Dan, Dental Comic

July 6, 2011 By Eva Watson 1 Comment

by Eva Watson

Dentistry is funny. Regardless of what any professional in the industry or dental patient states, this business is a bounty of hilarity. Then, again, others think me a bit “off”.

I recently met and interviewed (via email) Dr. Dan Greenstein, AKA ‘”Dr. Dan” of Boca Raton, Florida. A practicing GP, stand-up comic, and musician, Dr. Dan has been drilling and making the dental industry laugh since 1989. His CD titled “Spit Happens!” offers a collection of dentally–inspired songs like:
If I Was In Hygiene
Percodan
The Cancellation Blues
and other clever tunes. Dr. Dan’s live show is an onslaught of jokes and insight about the daily life of the dental practices we work in and pull our collective hairs out over. Check him out at: http://www.tonguencheek.com/pages/home.html.