It’s a shame that these commercials, first broadcast during the 2004 Superbowl, were upstaged by Janet Jackson’s “stardom” during the halftime show that day. I thought that it was utterly brilliant marketing, even better than the commercials that went totally silent and you’d have to peek your head around the corner to see why your TV turned off. I mean, this campaign is the epitome of the proof that marketers will do whatever it takes to get your attention.
So if you agree with me that these were the silliest, funnest commercials of the time, especially because secretly you found yourself doing a subconscious ortho workup on the pre-adolescent mess of a dentition, then you now get your chance to revisit them here.
Our little freaky bowler hat hobgoblin is acting shy about showing his jacked-up smile at first. Open please, and bite your back teeth together.
Or just sing for us, okay?
Yes, you have a pepper bar, and you’re cute in a “I can’t unsee that” kind of way. But did you have to go all Sistine Chapel on us?
Note to self: Don’t let smushed up taxidermy specimens wave a pair of scissors around. It’s just creepy. On the other hand, the pirate hat? Wow, perfection.
And our last one. Um, you need to wrap the neck of that guitar with a little gauze if you’re going to clean out his ear.
I was playing these videos very quietly while I was embedding them because it’s a little embarrassing to admit that I have a fondness for these creatures. Like if some of my patients knew that I thought they were funny, maybe they’d think that something was wrong with me because, really, these commercials are just stupid and ugly and have no place in our culture.
Thank goodness for wardrobe malfunctions to take the heat off of Quizno’s for having the audacity to market like this, right?
And I sure hope that the kid whose teeth were used in the making of the commercials got some $$ for braces and is now a poster teen for the AAO.