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Bad hair restoration

August 29, 2012 By Trish Walraven 1 Comment

Last week, when the story of the botched fresco restoration in Spain went viral, I couldn’t help but wonder if this were the worst… or best… thing that had ever happened to the little church. I imagine the humiliation that the well-intentioned elderly parishioner has been feeling for her actions, and the fear that she will be sued for defacing this work of art which used to depict Jesus. She is reportedly suffering from anxiety attacks ever since her work became known.

But the Internet has turned her into a celebrity. Instead of taking the terrible painting at face value, it is becoming known as “a masterpiece of contemporary surrealism” and “perhaps its own kind of metaphor for modern man.” The church has become a tourist attraction, and there’s even a petition to prevent the fresco from being altered from its current state.

Best of all, the image has become a sort of meme, parody-ing its way into every crevice of Twitter and Facebook. If I were ever in Spain, I definitely would have to visit this fresco now and would be sad if it were ever restored in the normal convention.

And forgotten.

So when Jay Leno picks on a dentist for having bad hair, well, sometimes mainstream is the WORST thing you can be, and if there’s one thing Leno panders to, it’s the mainstream. What’s bad to the mainstream might be… postmodern !!! to those clients that you’re hoping to attract. Fellow dental blogger Mike Barr shares this video clip from The Tonight Show:

I

It’s not so bad. I mean, he’s an LVI-trained dentist, he’s a sculpted work of art himself – either you get him, or you don’t. Challenging? Yes. Dismissable? Let’s just say that I couldn’t leave this one alone:

 

Try as I might, I REALLY couldn’t leave it alone. Maybe the dentist would look better on the fresco itself????

 

On third thought, maybe it’s just best to preserve him in raw form and let the art speak for itself:

 

 

A big thanks goes out to Dr. G for being such a sport, knowing that it’s all in fun, and that anyone who picks on your hair is just jealous of your ripped body.

Filed Under: Fun, Humor, Marketing, News

Dental office acronyms

June 25, 2012 By Trish Walraven 3 Comments

One of my favorite dental blogs is the AGD’s The Daily Grind, with today’s post by Scott Jackson, DMD, MAGD sticking up like a wonderful, poignant nail that wants its head to be hit by this hammer of humor awareness. BAM! BAM! BAM!

In the midst of savoring life, Scott has also realized that textual shortcuts just might be the future of communicating in his dental practice, and so has offered up a few acronymic suggestions to ease the conversations in your office as well:

IGS……..I’m going to scream
WWIT…….What was I thinking?
DAPDA……Dog ate patient’s denture again
LCNHLTP….Lab case not here, lie to patient
IHDD…….I hate doing dentures
INAV…….I need a vacation
CTOSN……Call the oral surgeon, NOW!
IPTDS……I perforated the darn sinus
YAIOTP…..Your attorney is on the phone
INAGOW…..I need a glass of wine
SMAY…….Staff mad at you

There’s more!!!! but you’ll have to go here to read them, because that’s just how it works, this blogger thing. Borrow a few and it’s teasing and plugging. Take ’em all and it’s stealing. And if you have a hammer, well, aren’t you just supposed to hit nails on their heads when they make you smile with dental humorosity?

I now feel the urge to add a witty acronym of my own, but it would probably be something suckie uppie like:

SWTB……Scott writes them better.

 

 

Filed Under: Anecdotes, Humor, Practice Management Tagged With: dental acronyms, dental blogs, dental humor

Farewell, Good Doctor

June 12, 2012 By Eva Watson 2 Comments

The reign of near, unprecedented dental negligence is over; Robert Bates, DDS, the former president of the now-defunct Allcare Dental, has surrendered his dental license to the state of New Hampshire.

http://doj.nh.gov/media-center/press-releases/2012/20120521-bates-dental-license-allcare.htm

This is not a day to rejoice. This is not the time to shake our heads in deep disappointment for a fallen comrade that made monumental and irreversible mistakes. It’s a sad turn of events that warrants important discussion of a man who is no longer a licensed dentist in NH. It’s…

TIME TO GET STUPID! Wheee!

Let’s Find Dr. Bates a New Job!

Elephant Feces Removal Specialist

Oh, come on. It’s just excrement. It’s not like it would be the worst job in the world. Bonding with these creatures and subsequent dung removal from these four-legged friends may be just what the doctor needs. Who knows? Perhaps Dr. Bates may enjoy cleaning up after gigantic animals that dump mammoth quantities of pachyderm poop. Does anyone know if licensure is required for this type of work?

Gingie! The Awfully Bloody Gingiva Traveling Mascot

This role was originally chosen for dental wives (read the previous story here), but the opportunity for the doctor to take part in this jobs program is far too great for him to pass up. The position in simple; don the Gingie costume, in all of its fake blood and erythematous glory, and travel to various elementary schools to teach kids the importance of how utterly neglectful, disease-ridden, and disgusting bloody gums are and the importance of daily flossing. The doctor wouldn’t need any dental materials to pass out to the children. He would just point to himself as a prime example.

Official Door-to-Door Apologizer to Allcare Dental Patients

I would personally oversee this job for the doctor. I want to travel more anyway. See, it would be a cross-country automobile adventure, no doubt, with the kind doctor doing all of the driving. My family and I are on a strict budget so he would have to pay for the cost of gas, meals, lodging, and the twenty-four hour guard surveillance should he try to escape from said job duties. I really like to sing poorly… out loud… so the doctor isn’t allowed to turn on any radio/CD musical choices of any kind to drown out the auditory pain that is my singing. And if he starts to whine, well, it clearly states in the job description ’emotional outbursts of any kind will be dealt with quickly and firmly’. I haven’t really worked out the specifics of that rule yet but my mind… free. My need for justice for every Allcare dental patient in the thirteen states the doctor has taken advantage of… limitless.

Anyone up for a road trip?

 

 

Filed Under: Humor, News Tagged With: Allcare Dental

Judicial dream patients (or not)

March 26, 2012 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

Today is a big day for dental and medical subscribers and their families across our country.

Health Care Reform: Opening Day At The Supreme Court

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/health-care-reform-supreme-court_n_1373333.html

The fate of the Affordable Care Act is in the hands of the nine Supreme Court justices of our country. They will discuss and listen to arguments on the bill that went into law just two years ago under President Obama.

These highly educated and important people will have many options to weigh over the course of three days during their debates as the American public awaits the outcome of the healthcare reform law.

As a dental care provider and fellow taxpayer, I kindly ask the current patients in the waiting room to continue to wait a bit more as I move up our nation’s Supreme Court justices in my hygiene schedule to have their teeth scaled immediately. I have vital opinions to share with each judge that simply cannot wait. It won’t take long, however. I shall address all of them in the reception area first to efficiently utilize production time.

 

Me: “Now, Your Honors- Judge Scalia, please put that magazine down and pay attention.”

Judge Scalia: “But it’s the new People issue. I don’t get this at home.”

Me: “That’s not important. The country’s future- Judge Roberts? That’s totally disgusting.  Get your finger out of your nose.”

Judge Roberts: “But I don’t have any tissue. Alito stole my fanny pack.”

Judge Alito: “I did not! I just borrowed it, ya poopbag.”

Me: “Please, settle down, people. We don’t have time here… where’s Judge Thomas?”

Judge Sotomayor: “He’s in the bathroom- AGAIN! I wouldn’t go in there for awhile.”

Judge Breyer: “You think you’re all that because you went to JLo’s house that one time for a stupid dinner party.”

Judge Sotomayor: “You’re just jealous cus you don’t get invited anywhere.”

Me: “Both of you- stop. There are other patients here tha-”

Judge Kagan: “Excuse, me, Ms. Watson, but Judge Kennedy keeps poking me with his pen.”

Judge Kennedy: “It’s because you won’t move over, Kagan!”

Judge Kagan: “You have more than enough room, Kennedy.  You’re a fartface.”

Me: “Now, stop it!”

Judge Ginsburg: “Is there somewhere I can get a Mountain Dew? I’m really thirsty.”

Me: “No. Sit down.”

Judge Thomas: “Whew! No one go in the bathroom for awhile. I dropped a sulfur bomb.”

Judge  Scalia: “Sulfur bomb! Dude, that’s hilarious!”

Judge Ginsburg: “Isn’t there a 7-Eleven down the street? I really need some sugar.”

Judge Kennedy: “Kagan, move over already!”

Judge Sotomayor: “Leave her alone. You’re so mean, Kennedy.”

Judge Roberts: “Scalia, don’t think you’re off the hook. I want my fanny pack.”

Judge Scalia: “Dude, why do you even have a fanny pack? Did your mommy give that to you?”

Judge Roberts: “Shutup, man!”

 

I’m not gonna use any topical on any of them. Little crappers…

 

 

 

Filed Under: Fun, Humor, News Tagged With: dental humor, healthcare reform, supreme court

Quantum leap year

February 29, 2012 By Trish Walraven 1 Comment

Imagine that you are back about two decades ago, watching one of the most popular sci-fi shows on primetime television:
 
 
Theorizing that one could earn over one million per year for a lifetime, Dr. Mike Kesner led an elite group of dentists into the Arizona desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM LEAP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr. Kesner prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself working only two days per month, opening multiple practices, and facing a mirror image that often wore dresses. Fortunately, contact with his consultants was made through brainwave transmissions via Art, Debi, Logan, Barbara, and Greg, who appeared in the form of holograms that only Dr. Kesner could see and hear. Trapped within the grip of dentists fearful of change, Dr. Kesner finds himself leaping from dental practice to dental practice, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap to one billion dollars.
 

Is Mike Kesner the new Scott Bakula? Yes, but only if you ignore the fact that Bakula later starred in Star Trek: Enterprise and let all his sci-fi potential curdle out into TV irrelevance.

I say this because over the past weekend as I was whisked off to Scottsdale to stay in the va-va chic retro Hotel Valley Ho with the rest of our dental team, the only prior connection that I’d ever made with Dr. Kesner was on the computer. Our practice has been working with Quantum Leap consultants for a few months now, trying to improve our case acceptance rates, increasing our net; you know, having to look at the money side of dentistry. Any time we had a lapse in the schedule, I’d hear a wuh WAH wuh WAH charliebrown adult murmuring from the op across the hall, or I’d pull my own training module up in front of PracticeWorks from the internet and learn tips and techniques from the video and audio recordings that Dr. Kesner has preserved for his clients. We’d all seen him by now, explaining how his systems work to make dentistry less stressful and more profitable.

But there were no special effects, no smoke, no superstar moments, no promises even. When Dr. Kesner and his consultant team hit the stage this weekend they mentioned that it wasn’t even about pearls. You don’t make big changes with pearls. You make changes with systems, and by tapping into the world of the average person, where the bread and the butter of dentistry lies, and fill the needs that patients want you to fill. People have the internet these days, can’t they diagnose their own need for a root canal?

That’s not the point though, because of course you’re going to use your own best judgement when planning treatment. And you should never compromise the care that you provide to people. Bottom line is that as long as your patients know that you’re listening to them, they’re more likely to trust your opinions and to move forward with care. There is a LOT of shady dentistry being reported lately, what with Medicare fraud and other things like the dental chain on the other side of town that seems to aggressively treat decay that your Diagnodent can’t find when patients visit your office for a second opinion.

In honor of Leap Year Day, then, I’m doing this plug for Quantum Leap Success in Dentistry. Not because I’m getting paid by my boss to bring them more business or that anyone put me up to it. I’m giving them a plug because I actually have hope. Hope that Quantum Leap will improve the culture in our practice, and hope that it will preserve the joy I get from the honor of taking care of our dental patients.

And also because at the next meeting Dr. Kesner mentioned that he might be putting on lipstick and stilettos.

Filed Under: Humor, Money, Practice Management Tagged With: dental consultants, Mike Kesner, Quantum Leap Success in Dentistry

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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