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Farewell, Good Doctor

June 12, 2012 By Eva Watson 2 Comments

The reign of near, unprecedented dental negligence is over; Robert Bates, DDS, the former president of the now-defunct Allcare Dental, has surrendered his dental license to the state of New Hampshire.

http://doj.nh.gov/media-center/press-releases/2012/20120521-bates-dental-license-allcare.htm

This is not a day to rejoice. This is not the time to shake our heads in deep disappointment for a fallen comrade that made monumental and irreversible mistakes. It’s a sad turn of events that warrants important discussion of a man who is no longer a licensed dentist in NH. It’s…

TIME TO GET STUPID! Wheee!

Let’s Find Dr. Bates a New Job!

Elephant Feces Removal Specialist

Oh, come on. It’s just excrement. It’s not like it would be the worst job in the world. Bonding with these creatures and subsequent dung removal from these four-legged friends may be just what the doctor needs. Who knows? Perhaps Dr. Bates may enjoy cleaning up after gigantic animals that dump mammoth quantities of pachyderm poop. Does anyone know if licensure is required for this type of work?

Gingie! The Awfully Bloody Gingiva Traveling Mascot

This role was originally chosen for dental wives (read the previous story here), but the opportunity for the doctor to take part in this jobs program is far too great for him to pass up. The position in simple; don the Gingie costume, in all of its fake blood and erythematous glory, and travel to various elementary schools to teach kids the importance of how utterly neglectful, disease-ridden, and disgusting bloody gums are and the importance of daily flossing. The doctor wouldn’t need any dental materials to pass out to the children. He would just point to himself as a prime example.

Official Door-to-Door Apologizer to Allcare Dental Patients

I would personally oversee this job for the doctor. I want to travel more anyway. See, it would be a cross-country automobile adventure, no doubt, with the kind doctor doing all of the driving. My family and I are on a strict budget so he would have to pay for the cost of gas, meals, lodging, and the twenty-four hour guard surveillance should he try to escape from said job duties. I really like to sing poorly… out loud… so the doctor isn’t allowed to turn on any radio/CD musical choices of any kind to drown out the auditory pain that is my singing. And if he starts to whine, well, it clearly states in the job description ’emotional outbursts of any kind will be dealt with quickly and firmly’. I haven’t really worked out the specifics of that rule yet but my mind… free. My need for justice for every Allcare dental patient in the thirteen states the doctor has taken advantage of… limitless.

Anyone up for a road trip?

 

 

Filed Under: Humor, News Tagged With: Allcare Dental

Comments

  1. Trish says

    June 19, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    Road trip? I love road trips.

    Reply
  2. Tom says

    October 10, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    It is true that the recent medical records must be fully updated before you proceed for filing dental negligence claim, so be sure that you have collected every details carefully, and they are sufficient enough to prove the carelessness of a dentist or the staff members of a dental clinic. Besides this, it will be necessary to collect hard evidences to support your claim.

    Reply

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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