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Dr. Dan, Dental Comic

July 6, 2011 By Eva Watson 1 Comment

by Eva Watson

Dentistry is funny.  Regardless of what any professional in the industry or dental patient states, this business is a bounty of hilarity. Then, again, others think me a bit “off”.

I recently met and interviewed (via email) Dr. Dan Greenstein, AKA ‘”Dr. Dan” of Boca Raton, Florida. A practicing GP, stand-up comic, and musician, Dr. Dan has been drilling and making the dental industry laugh since 1989. His CD titled “Spit Happens!” offers a collection of dentally–inspired songs like:
If I Was In Hygiene
Percodan
The Cancellation Blues
and other clever tunes. Dr. Dan’s live show is an onslaught of jokes and insight about the daily life of the dental practices we work in and pull our collective hairs out over. Check him out at: http://www.tonguencheek.com/pages/home.html.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Fun, Humor, Interviews Tagged With: Dan Greenstein, dental humor, stand-up comedy

Love poems, not lawyers

May 20, 2011 By Eva Watson 1 Comment

by Eva Watson

Attention dental patients everywhere:

Feel like that new crown isn’t fitting right? Do you feel it may cause discomfort? Brain hemorrhaging? Death? Well, put that phone down, you silly thing. Your lawyer can wait because June is ‘Don’t Sue Your Dentist’ Awareness Month.

As an act of marginal sympathy, I ask those patients who plan on crushing the livelihoods of their dentists to refrain, for a moment, and search your heart for a modicum of compassion. In the spirit of ‘Don’t Sue Your Dentist’ Awareness Month, I offer latent plaintiffs a poetic gesture of retort on behalf of your dentists. I call this poem, “Oh, Come ON! You Gotta Be F%[email protected]! Kidding Me?!”

 

Oh, Come ON! You Gotta Be F%[email protected]! Kidding Me?!”

Beyond the reaches of simple men
You further the legions
Of those who wish to harm us
Into the shadows of the Beast
(The Man with the Briefcase)
We shall overturn your
Tortuous hands in our pockets
And fight… fight!
For the putrid, rotting silver in
The mouths of those who wish to
Destroy us was but a step away from
Excavation into Happiness
A porcelain utopia
Awaited those who turned on our Good selves
BEHOLD!
The wrath that disguises itself as
Innocent sufferer is the Devil
In Disguise and I’m bringing you down along with your pandering attorney!
Yeah! Booyah! How do ya like me now? Can’t hear that, you say? I said
I’m gonna countersue you!
I’m gonna Smear your name like a laboratory sample
On a glass slide!
And I’m gonna get your little dog, too!

Filed Under: Dental Debates, Humor Tagged With: dental litigation, dental poetry, lawyers

Worthy Wives

April 26, 2011 By Eva Watson 2 Comments

Alternative Ways You Can Help Your Husband’s Practice

by Eva Watson

 

Running a financially solvent and content dental practice is hard work. The challenges of keeping the schedule filled, placating unhappy patients, and ensuring the peace and tranquility between team members are constants that must be adhered to for the greater good of the practice.

None of these responsibilities are taken more seriously than that of the spouses of dentists. These individuals not only have a vested interest in the monetary success of their married dental partners but to better the daily operations and keep ‘the ship sailing smoothly’ as well.

With all of the positive traits and well-meaning leadership dental wives have in mind for their husbands’ offices, there are days, just a tad too many, actually, that your guidance and intentions seem to push the staff’s proverbial ‘button’, so to speak. May I dare say ‘lay the sauce a bit too thick’? If I may be so bold as to offer, ‘Make the employees want to ship you in a box to Africa’?

It’s a difficult pill to swallow, I agree, but I do have some various, and incredibly helpful options, to aid in your demanding role as dental spouse:

 

 

Pass out dental office brochures to businesses around a twenty square mile radius, three days a week.

Obviously this will take you away from the practice frequently. Think of it this way – you can hit Neiman Marcus, Restoration Hardware, and schedule appointments with contractors to remodel your kitchen. Just make sure our checks don’t bounce again, okay?

 

Visit local elementary schools dressed as ‘Rooty! The Giant, Friendly Root Canal Tooth’

I would totally do this myself, but I need to be in the practice so– have fun! There are holes for your arms, but walking may pose a challenge. Oh, and there’s the white stockings and black shoes you have to wear. The staff attached a huge endodontic file to the top of your costume so the little ones understand why root canals are completely awful. Now, the suit gets sweaty and stinky after an hour, so make certain you bring a change of clothes. Come to think of it, you may want to shake it out a few times before you put it on. I thought I saw something crawling in it.

 

Take some time off

The staff knows you’ve earned it. You come in here, day after day after day, talking and talking, mispronouncing patients’ names then laughing about it, and we just feel like all that hard work deserves some rest and relaxation. In fact, we spoke to the doctor about it at one of the staff meetings. (You were Rooty that day so you missed the meeting.) Anyway, he feels that sending you to a month-long spa getaway is a fantastic idea for your peace of mind and well-being. You’re going to be busy next month – we got a new practice mascot costume for you!

Say hello to ‘Gingie – The Awfully Bloody Gingiva’!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Fun, Humor, Marketing, Practice Management Tagged With: Marketing, Spouses

Strippers may be bad for your teeth

February 28, 2011 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

By Eva Watson
There are many things that make me laugh; a pie in the face, the late comedian, Bill Hicks, and my daughter’s tantrums. The list goes on and on. Sometimes all it takes is an utterly sidesplitting headline in the news to force me to use my sick imagination and visuals to the fullest:

Man sues over strip club dental injuries

INDIANAPOLIS, Feb. 27 (UPI) — An Indiana man’s lawsuit for injuries he suffered when a stripper’s shoe flew off during a performance and hit him in the teeth isn’t far-fetched, lawyers say.

Jake Quagliaroli, 34, of Indianapolis sat approximately 20 feet from the stage at PT’s Showclub when the shoe hit him in the face and chipped his front teeth, the Indianapolis Star reported Friday.

Then I just let my imagination soar.

An innocent gentleman is enjoying a harmless show of skin aplenty.
“Oh, yea, baby.  Oh, yes.  Oh, she’s so fine.” Suddenly…
“INCOMING!!” Thwack!
A ruby red size 9 stiletto socks him in the upper anteriors. The music screeches to a halt, some dude spills his beer, and the guilty stripper, dollar bills jutting out from her G-string, stops in mid gyration to apologize to her most loyal patron.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.  Are you ok?”
The gentleman is covering his mouth, wincing in pain. He’s unable to speak. One minute passes when he finally touches his teeth with his finger.
“You broke my teeth! You frickin’ broke my teeth!”
The stripper hovers over her customer while the remaining male patrons sit closer to the stage and stare at the woman’s twins with sloppy grins on their faces.
“Can we get some ice over here, please?” The woman calls out.
The owner of the club comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his fly.
“What’s going on around here?”
The stripper, arms crossed in front of her, tries to explain herself.
“Remember that move I’ve been working on? It backfired.”
The club owner rolls his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”
“Well, I was wearing different shoes during rehearsal,” replies the dancer.


Then the visual in my head stops rolling as I catch our cat Cheese attempting to take a dump in the hibiscus planter. Lovely.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: dental injuries, scandals

Italian hygienist career opportunity?

February 6, 2011 By Eva Watson 3 Comments

by Eva Watson

Bored with Dental Hygiene?

Enter an exciting, new career as an International Companion!

Hello and welcome!  My name is Sophia Arrapato and I am the founder and CEO of ‘Italiano Scortares’, a Trans global company dedicated to servicing the needs of our exclusive clientele.

As a previous dental hygienist, I have treated many patients for over twenty years.  After my 18th year of removing plaque and calculus, I eagerly wanted to pursue a new career as an entrepreneur, specializing in carnal pleasure. It only took less than twenty-four hours to say to myself, “Ho, scoperto!  Sesso!”

It took intense market research and interviewing countless women, but I officially opened my doors in 2010 and business has been booming!

You will be known as an International Companion for Italiano Scortares, and as such will have the best plastic surgeons at your disposal, an endless array of erotic dancing apparel, and, after completing six weeks of intense training, you will be awarded with your very own Little Black Book. As the CEO of Italiano Scortares, I will screen all prospective clients prior to assignment; I insist on the enduring scruples and respectability I have incorporated into my empire.


As a new employee, you will have the honor of training under Nicole Minetti, an Italian dental hygienist, esteemed lap-dancer, and long-time political advisor to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Her experience is vast and hilariously adulterated, so I ask you pay close attention to Ms. Minetti’s teachings and advice. She will guide you through your career and enhance your presence and clientele list here with Italiano Scortares.

I thank you for visiting our website and hope to meet with you soon. Make sure to floss daily!

Questo è amore!

 

 

Click on the images and links above to see why dentistry was dragged into this whole sordid saga.

Filed Under: Fun, Humor Tagged With: dental hygiene, Fun, humor, scandal

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

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