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Strippers may be bad for your teeth

February 28, 2011 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

By Eva Watson
There are many things that make me laugh; a pie in the face, the late comedian, Bill Hicks, and my daughter’s tantrums. The list goes on and on. Sometimes all it takes is an utterly sidesplitting headline in the news to force me to use my sick imagination and visuals to the fullest:

Man sues over strip club dental injuries

INDIANAPOLIS, Feb. 27 (UPI) — An Indiana man’s lawsuit for injuries he suffered when a stripper’s shoe flew off during a performance and hit him in the teeth isn’t far-fetched, lawyers say.

Jake Quagliaroli, 34, of Indianapolis sat approximately 20 feet from the stage at PT’s Showclub when the shoe hit him in the face and chipped his front teeth, the Indianapolis Star reported Friday.

Then I just let my imagination soar.

An innocent gentleman is enjoying a harmless show of skin aplenty.
“Oh, yea, baby.  Oh, yes.  Oh, she’s so fine.” Suddenly…
“INCOMING!!” Thwack!
A ruby red size 9 stiletto socks him in the upper anteriors. The music screeches to a halt, some dude spills his beer, and the guilty stripper, dollar bills jutting out from her G-string, stops in mid gyration to apologize to her most loyal patron.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.  Are you ok?”
The gentleman is covering his mouth, wincing in pain. He’s unable to speak. One minute passes when he finally touches his teeth with his finger.
“You broke my teeth! You frickin’ broke my teeth!”
The stripper hovers over her customer while the remaining male patrons sit closer to the stage and stare at the woman’s twins with sloppy grins on their faces.
“Can we get some ice over here, please?” The woman calls out.
The owner of the club comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his fly.
“What’s going on around here?”
The stripper, arms crossed in front of her, tries to explain herself.
“Remember that move I’ve been working on? It backfired.”
The club owner rolls his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”
“Well, I was wearing different shoes during rehearsal,” replies the dancer.


Then the visual in my head stops rolling as I catch our cat Cheese attempting to take a dump in the hibiscus planter. Lovely.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: dental injuries, scandals

Dental trauma is not funny

January 28, 2011 By Eva Watson Leave a Comment

by Eva Watson

Dental Trauma is Not Funny… I lied.  It’s kind of funny.

In an effort to provide the Dental Buzz audience with a little blurb of cheeky dental absurdity, I offer a tale- a tale of an ominous olive pit, its perilous journey into the oral cavity of Ohio Representative Dennis J. Kucinich, and the tooth that became a legend. The story begins in the year 2008.

Ahem…

Olive pit: OW! SON OF A #%@!  The jerk just bit me! What the hell, man?!

Rep. Kucinich: I just bit down on an olive pit… oh, poop.

Tooth: Huh… that felt kinda good.

Olive pit: Are you whack, tooth?!  What’s wrong with you?

Tooth: Well, I’ve been decaying away in this gentleman’s mouth for some time anyway. Gets boring. That was a lot of excitement for me.

Rep. Kucinich: Wow. My tooth really hurts.

Olive pit: That totally sucked! He hurt me! Which means YOU HURT ME!

Tooth: Oh, come on, olive pit. Don’t be such a wet ham. Didn’t that turn you on a little?

Olive pit: That’s not funny. Are you a sadist or something?

Tooth: You’re such a baby.

Rep. Kucinich: Umm- my tooth really hurts.

Olive pit: I’m not a baby. I’m injured!

Tooth: Live a little. You may like it.

Olive pit: The dude bit me, and now I’m forced to live in his colon. Lovely!

Tooth: Maybe I’ll get a root canal. That would be so hot.

Rep. Kucinich: Doesn’t anyone care about me?

Olive pit: Pipe down, Kucinich!

Tooth: Please get a root canal. Please-please-please?

Three years later…

Rep. Kucinich:  My tooth still hurts.  It’s 2011 and my tooth still hurts.  I think I’ll sue the cafeteria that sold me that suspicious lunch wrap. That’ll learn ‘em.

Tooth: Hope I get another root canal… hee-hee.

•••••••••••••••

Dennis Kucinich has apologized for all of the distraction that he’s caused, and has announced within an hour of this writing that he had settled the lawsuit.

For the record, here’s a copy of the lawsuit (PDF) that Kucinich brought against the olive pit (and the company that left it in his sandwich).

Filed Under: Fun, Humor Tagged With: Dennis Kucinich, dental injuries, dental lawsuit, Fun, humor

Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Handpiece

September 26, 2010 By Trish Walraven 2 Comments

 

Now this is just sad. It seems as though a perfect storm of poorly-maintained handpieces, numb lips, and inattentive dentists has come together in a flurry of reports that patients are getting burned at the dental office.

Really burned, not like they’re getting ripped off burned. First, second, and third degree burns. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is so concerned, they’ve even created a letter for you to send to your handpiece manufacturer, since they’re not naming names as to whose products are heating up the most.

Most of the manufacturers already received this letter last month in response to the FDA’s new safety alert. In the meantime, they are recommending that clinicians:

  • Are vigilant about maintaining electric dental handpieces and electric oral bone-cutting handpieces according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
  • Verify with the manufacturer the appropriate routine service interval for your dental practice, based on the actual use of your electric dental handpieces or electric intraoral bone-cutting handpieces.
  • Train personnel to properly clean and maintain the electric dental handpieces or electric intraoral bone-cutting handpieces.
  • Develop a method for tracking maintenance and routine service for each dental handpiece or electric intraoral bone-cutting handpiece.
  • Examine the electric dental handpiece attachments and electric intraoral bone-cutting handpiece attachments prior to use. Do not use worn drills or burs.
  • Do not use poorly maintained electric dental handpieces or electric intraoral bone-cutting handpieces.
  • Report overheating to the manufacturer.

Elvis would have been ashamed that his song title had been so poorly used to get your attention in this article.

So make sure that its presence is not in vain.

Filed Under: Instruments, Operative Dentistry, Products Tagged With: burns, dental handpieces, dental injuries, FDA, instruments

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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