By Eva Watson
There are many things that make me laugh; a pie in the face, the late comedian, Bill Hicks, and my daughter’s tantrums. The list goes on and on. Sometimes all it takes is an utterly sidesplitting headline in the news to force me to use my sick imagination and visuals to the fullest:
INDIANAPOLIS, Feb. 27 (UPI) — An Indiana man’s lawsuit for injuries he suffered when a stripper’s shoe flew off during a performance and hit him in the teeth isn’t far-fetched, lawyers say.
Jake Quagliaroli, 34, of Indianapolis sat approximately 20 feet from the stage at PT’s Showclub when the shoe hit him in the face and chipped his front teeth, the Indianapolis Star reported Friday.
Then I just let my imagination soar.
An innocent gentleman is enjoying a harmless show of skin aplenty.
“Oh, yea, baby. Oh, yes. Oh, she’s so fine.” Suddenly…
A ruby red size 9 stiletto socks him in the upper anteriors. The music screeches to a halt, some dude spills his beer, and the guilty stripper, dollar bills jutting out from her G-string, stops in mid gyration to apologize to her most loyal patron.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. Are you ok?”
The gentleman is covering his mouth, wincing in pain. He’s unable to speak. One minute passes when he finally touches his teeth with his finger.
“You broke my teeth! You frickin’ broke my teeth!”
The stripper hovers over her customer while the remaining male patrons sit closer to the stage and stare at the woman’s twins with sloppy grins on their faces.
“Can we get some ice over here, please?” The woman calls out.
The owner of the club comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his fly.
“What’s going on around here?”
The stripper, arms crossed in front of her, tries to explain herself.
“Remember that move I’ve been working on? It backfired.”
The club owner rolls his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”
“Well, I was wearing different shoes during rehearsal,” replies the dancer.
Then the visual in my head stops rolling as I catch our cat Cheese attempting to take a dump in the hibiscus planter. Lovely.