DentalBuzz - a jolt of current…

Dear Santa,

This is so hard; I didn’t know who else I could write that could help me in my dilemma. My college finals are over and I recently went to oral surgeon’s office about my wisdom teeth. The plan is to have them taken out right after Christmas. The deal is, they’re not hurting. In fact, they are so buried in the bone that they aren’t even close to my other molars.

The weird thing was when I went to the oral surgeon for a consultation, he told me that when he took the wisdom teeth out, he could send all of them to a cryogenics lab where they would extract my stem cells and freeze them in case I needed them in the future to grow new nerve, cartilage, bone, a liver, or even a new heart.

I thought about it a lot, I really did, Santa. Did my research, too and realized that you’ve got some experience dealing with people who want to deep freeze everything they can touch. Here’s what I came up with:

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Nice product presentation on the left, don’t you think?

Now what exactly are they? The latest in clear maxillary molar implants?

Wrong. You stick them in your ears. You. The dental professional.  Yes, you, the person who is losing their hearing and doesn’t mind spending about a grand to protect what’s left of your stereocilia.

Not losing your hearing? Then prove it to yourself. Take the test below in a quiet place. Naturally you need to have speakers turned up to about medium to hear all the frequencies. The higher ranges are what are known as the “mosquito” ringtones, which are outside the audible range of people over 30, and often used by the young-uns to send stealth text messages to each other.

There have been a few inconclusive studies published in the dental journals this decade about the concern that high decibel-level noise is an occupational hazard in dental practices. We thought that now would be a good time to gather a little of our own anecdotal evidence, and see how dentists’ hearing stacks up to the general population.

Play each of these tones to yourself and then please fill out the anonymous survey below so that we can publish the results in a future post.  

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Hi. I’m a very sad American Indian. I am crying because I just learned that my children have Bisphenol-A in their dental sealants. BPA is bad. It means my boys might end up with man-boobs.

This is about dental pollution, people. It may be ignored by mainstream science, but this problem is real enough to sell newspapers, magazines, and make you read online articles.

What I’ve Heard About Dental Pollution

Everywhere I go I hear about how it’s not fair that the citizens of cities have no choice about the fluoride in their drinking water. Sure, it makes teeth stronger, but there’s a conspiracy of pollution! And it’s the people who are so poor that they can’t even afford cups, they have to tilt their heads sideways to drink under the sink faucet, they are the ones who get the most fluoride in their bodies.

Does fluoride save lives like chlorine does? Wait, I didn’t say that, because it’s going to sound like I am in favor of putting poisons in the water. 

You dentists also are protecting the right to fix the holes in people’s mouths with evil substances. If you drill a tooth and put in a silver filling, you have to make the filling soft with toxic mercury. Why can’t you just heat up the silver and pour it in the cavity?

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We finally figured out why the German guy was asking Dustin Hoffman “Is it safe?” in the movie Marathon Man. Obviously his wife was planning on having her third child and he was worried about the folk saying from his native country, “Every child costs the mother one tooth.”

Leave it to the Americans to show that these words actually hold a great deal of truth. Across the socioeconomic strata the results of data examination were consistent: women who gave birth to more children tended to lose more teeth during their lives.

So the next time a pregnant patient is worried about the baby “robbing calcium from her teeth,” dentists can acknowledge that there is a real correlation between making babies and an increase in dental disease. And then take steps with the mother-to-be to minimize the oral flora aggression that seems to rise in their mouths.

Hopefully this will mean fewer drills aimed directly through the central incisors.