DentalBuzz – a jolt of current…

We were impressed that when put on the spot between inaugural balls today, President Barack Obama was able to outline his plan to give all people in the United States of America the right to a beautiful, healthy smile. The big question is: just who are his dental advisors?

Obama’s Mastication Initiative for America (MIA)

The people of the United States should realize that teeth are a quality of life issue. The government cannot force a citizen to take care of his or her body, nor should a person be penalized for issues that are beyond their control. We have seen the insurance industry take hold of healthcare and overvalue its services. Furthermore, dentists throughout our great nation have resisted the tide of managed medicine and are now capable of not only improving the quality of their patients’ lives, but even the very length of the average American lifespan.

When we look at the technological advances that have been made in dentistry, we know that now is the time for change. It is this administration’s hope that by combining personal responsibility with expert guidance, my Mastication Initiative for America will fulfill the needs of all Americans, not just the ones barely getting by; not just the wealthy, but every one of us.

The details will be forthcoming when I have more than a few breaths of air between dipping my wife on dance floors, but here is a brief outline of the plan:

1. Participation in the plan is voluntary, both for dental providers and for patients.

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In so many ways, the BrytonPick is the best all-around new product in patient oral health care. 

It’s Green: One pick is reusable for up to 30 days.

It’s Cute: The BrytonPick looks like a little boomerang.

It’s Practical: Patients who absolutely will not use dental floss will be thrilled that a new option is available for food removal. This means they can stop using paper clips, business cards, matches, and fingernails.

It’s Portable: the BrytonPick comes with a credit card-sized carrying case.

It’s Brandable: the back of the carrying case can be printed with the name of your dental practice.

It’s Affordable: BrytonPicks each cost less than $2.

There’s only one problem: It’s made of metal, which makes it hard to watch the video on the BrytonPick website without getting that watery-mouth, galvanic shock sympathy shudder.

We finally figured out why the German guy was asking Dustin Hoffman “Is it safe?” in the movie Marathon Man. Obviously his wife was planning on having her third child and he was worried about the folk saying from his native country, “Every child costs the mother one tooth.”

Leave it to the Americans to show that these words actually hold a great deal of truth. Across the socioeconomic strata the results of data examination were consistent: women who gave birth to more children tended to lose more teeth during their lives.

So the next time a pregnant patient is worried about the baby “robbing calcium from her teeth,” dentists can acknowledge that there is a real correlation between making babies and an increase in dental disease. And then take steps with the mother-to-be to minimize the oral flora aggression that seems to rise in their mouths.

Hopefully this will mean fewer drills aimed directly through the central incisors.

Throw away all your battery-powered unmentionables and welcome a familiar friend to your bedside drawer!

The Oral-B Pulsar disposable electric toothbrush is the discreet answer to better pleasure, vitality, and all-around good vibes.

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In our last episode, we left as the two camps bickered over what they were going to do once they had actually tracked down the elusive Maxillus mandibularis. The leader of Camp NeuroMuscular had leaned toward the fire, cradling the bowl of his pipe in his fingers and clenching its stem in his teeth like an NTI device. Removing the pipe, he suggested that the solution was to deprogram this infernal beast. 

“Nonsense!” replied Sir Centric Relation from under his handlebar moustache. “Everyone knows that you must guide the cuspid. It is the only way to stop the nightly rampage.”

As we return to the scene, Sir Centric stands up and peers into the encroaching darkness. Read the rest of this entry »