The Wall Street Journal must have been having a slow day yesterday when they published this article about all the ways that dental floss has been used as a weapon or as a means of escape by inmates over the years. Seems that last month a group of New York prisoners decided to sue because they were getting cavities from not flossing.
What an excuse for American ingenuity to strike – let’s make a floss out of those annoying rubber bands that are sewn into new clothes to keep them on the hanger in the store! By the way, here’s how to break those off of your T-shirts:
Notice how he’s wearing a white dress shirt backwards to make him look like a mental patient…err… dentist. And wrapping the floss professionally around HIS INDEX FINGERS. Every dental professional knows that the middle finger is the way to go. Flip the bird, double flip, point ‘em high. That’s the way to break it. Otherwise you’re also suggesting that users should cut their circulation off when they floss. Next thing you know the inmates will be suing because they’ve got gangrene in their nailbeds.
So anyways, here’s the Floss Loops website. The guy who owns the patent also sells inmate-safe soft toothbrushes so if you’re curious about those go take a look. At this posting all the brochures are 404-not-found, but at least you can get an idea of the toothbrush and floss you might have to use when you do finally go all “insane dentist” on the last patient that just really has it coming.