This holiday season, don’t you know someone who would appreciate the Photoshopped finesse that can only be found in a printed new year calendar? Especially if they are aficionados of the lip-less look of their favorite Dexter, typodont, or other practice mannequin.

It’s bad enough that we all had to hover over these our first semester of dental school. Now they’ll be entering your dreams in an Inception-like takeover of your subconscious fears. NO! YOU NEVER GRADUATED AND YOU MUST SAY THANK YOU FOR THE UGLY WALLET FROM THE FAKE EVIL WOMAN YOU MARRIED!

Please tell me that you don’t really want one of these calendars. If you insist, it is available at this link here at Practicon, for pretty cheap, for a gag, for someone you pretend to like but just want to oog out really really bad.

Or you can just browse the rest of the calendar here. Do it quickly. Don’t linger. Because the longer you look, the more you’ll begin to question reality.

And if the nightmare above actually does describe your current marital situation, sorry, wasn’t trying to dis on your spouse. But you may want to consider this a wake-up call.