One thing I’ve learned over the years is that being a dental hygienist is easy compared to comedy. Every time I imagine that I’ve got the spotlight, that it’s just me and a microphone, and I’m telling dumb jokes about cleaning teeth, I get this intense knot in my stomach that makes me realize it’s really not my calling. Ask me to write something funny; well, I have days to think about it, time to play with the words, rewrite them when they’re not working right. But delivery? Only to your screen, kid. Punchlines, storytelling, pacing, all that in real time? It’s a surefire way to see me transform into Space-Out Girl, whose super power is to make everyone feel extremely sorry for how badly it’s going onstage so that the audience members turn to each other in embarrassment, averting their gaze just long enough for her to slink back into a fetal position behind the curtain.
So it is with extreme admiration that I present to you these comedic clips about going to the dentist. Some are classics, some are rising comedians that have less than 100 views on their YouTube videos. But I think all of them are worthy of being here in their own way.
Never leave a comic in a room with a little sucky thingie.
Totally funny. No, it’s not Jamie Foxx, but even his dentist thinks he might be. This is what happens when he’s left alone with a saliva ejector.
Guessing your flossing habits is a power trip for dentists.
Mildly amusing, but it misses the whole “of course you’re not flossing, your gums look like raw meat” point of it and goes straight to “your dentist is an a-hole.”
The dentist has a case of tongue-us.
You’ll definitely smile about this one, and probably lick the back of your forearm, let it dry, and then smell it to see if maybe you’re doing this to your patients. I like the way he gets all educational at the end.
Seinfeld vs. Walter White
Probably my favorite laugh-out-loud clip, proof that classics just get better with time. While this isn’t a comedy routine per se, Jerry Seinfeld did start as a stand-up comedian. Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston is a dentist to Seinfeld’s Anti-Dentite. This Seinfeld episode mashup is little longer than the other clips but totally worth your time.
She had to use Yelp to find a dental referral.
Skip the intro to about 1:20 and watch as this open mike diva talks about her latest visit to the dentist. She says her husband finds that going to the dentist relaxes him. That’s not so much the case for Gisele Gerry. She’s a talent, though, as she takes us through her flossing discoveries and complains about the hygienist with judgmental eyes.
Robin Williams and the lead apron joke.
If you don’t mind a few F-bombs you’ll enjoy the first minute of this clip where Robin discusses anthrax, Congress, and gonads at the dental office.
Robin Williams before he was famous, under an extracted tooth sign.
I had to add one more of him, from a terrible film made in 1977. The joke is lame and doesn’t quite make sense, but the slide whistle saves the day. Plus, hey, it’s Robin Williams in suspenders, which makes me sad and happy all at the same time.
Mybuh libip ibis obon thebuh fluhboor.
The most classic of classics in dental humor. Bill Cosby explains what he’s like at the dentist like only he can do. And if it’s been a while since you’ve seen this clip, it might be time for a refresher. Just make sure you wipe up your slobber afterwards.
Knowing how Google can be so literal sometimes (!), you might have come to this post to figure out how to do dentistry standing up and are now pretty PO’ed that all you got was a bunch of stand-up comedy videos instead. Hey, I’ve done the Crazy Bendy Straw routine with my back all spazzing out in the stand up position, and while it hurt like a lover clucker, we should all be thankful that wasn’t you, me, and a microphone. I might have just shoved that in your cheek for a laugh.
Aaand…Slide whistle out.
A blogger since 1997, Trish Walraven, RDH, BSDH is a practicing dental hygienist and marketing manager for an indie dental software development company. She likes writing about herself in third person and wasting time watching videos online because she can excuse it as “researching for a post on DentalBuzz.”