Archives for October 2011

The Affluent Hygienist: What I Sold Today

October 28, 2011 By Eva Watson 2 Comments

During our clinical careers, most work hours trudge along in that low-production, uneventful kind of way; the clock ticks in the same, annoying drone when a prophylaxis is performed. You could have sworn you saw the same, greasy-looking hamburger and french fries cloud in the sky you observed yesterday during a failed attempt at sealant lecturing, and that grouchy, Irritable Bowel Syndrome patient you treated 6 months ago still refuses to purchase a power toothbrush.

These days are safe; predictable. Without a whisper of high-production excitement to unhinge the banality of those hours, we are denied the unexpected and out-of-body experience that is dental sales. I dare hold my exuberance back when I say those words for fear I may erupt with a fury of irrational giddiness. Hee-hee…

I wait. I wait in vain, for days, when I can give my all and open up the dental doors of productive seventh heaven. Then the days become months. The months may even turn into a year; I feel my superhero selling powers fading into non-credible obscurity.

So, in lieu of my manic cravings to sell dentistry to patients, (because the dentist wants me to) and to quell my thirst to eradicate boredom, I’m forced to let my imagination wander and hope for a rogue, banana-cream pie to explode in my face, a carrier-pigeon fly into my operatory with the answers on how to solve the country’s current economic issues; or even hope for more exploding things. We all have our vices- mine, unfortunately, happens to be laughing at anything and everything absurd.

But, then, the day finally came; I successfully sold dentistry to my patients! They accepted the treatment plans and so much more! I could, once again, hold my head up high, and feel my success within the mega-power of a free market.

My husband wasn’t home to share in a glass of champagne, but that’s OK. A toast: to me! Today was, to date, the most productive day of my career! If I was able to organize a ticker-tape parade just for myself I would, but I have tons of laundry to do so… I’m still amazing!

Allow me to recap the momentous day:

Patient #1: You didn’t think I would talk about braces, did you? You tried to explain your unemployment status to me when I mentioned your anterior crowding, and I simply stated how easy it would be to correct. You sneaky devil, you. Well, I can say, definitively, I rocked your malocclused world! $5000 payment upfront and bam! Oh, dear. My patient has a frowny face. I think I’m losing him. Reel it in, woman. I’ll bring him back to dental happiness.

“Your wife won’t be upset,” I said. “I mean, you’ll find a job soon. Once your orthodontia is completed you’ll be offered one job after the other. What employer wouldn’t want to hire a good-looking man such as yourself- and one with a pending, awesome smile?” My patient stirred a bit in his chair, but managed to turn his frown upside down.

“I have been wanting to do this for a long time. Thank you for talking with me about it.”

“My pleasure,” I said with a warm smile. Cha-CHING!

Patient #3: You know, it’s funny. I didn’t think power toothbrush production was lucrative, but, oh my, was I wrong. The holidays are right around the corner. Why wouldn’t this patient get one for each member of his immediate family? His holiday shopping is finished, electric plaque disruption at his house will be at its finest, and, because he purchased five of these little beauties, the dentist agreed to give him 3% off of his next whitening session! It’s only three-hundred dollars.

The patient seemed a bit concerned about something. I moved my chair in closer. “Is there anything else I can get for you?” I asked. “Well,” said the patient in an irritated voice, “I don’t think my mom will need this. She’s not well.” “I see,” I replied. “Is she home bound?” I asked. “She’s in the hospital,” said the patient.

“That’s alright,” I said kindly. “She can use the brush while she’s there!”

Patient #4: I was simply amazed at the utter rudeness of this woman. I had told her, time and time again, she was not complying with my oral hygiene instructions. I took into consideration her lack of funds and her terminated unemployment benefits, but, the truth is, she brought this upon herself. The dental boss-man gave me ‘that look’ and I knew instinctively what to do; I just hope what’s left of her insurance will cover all 10 sites of the antibiotic. The dentist said I should have placed more of the antibiotic in her mouth, but he seemed pleased I put her on two-month recare visits.

She better find work soon; our in-house periodontist needs some production.

Patient #7: What a nice man; so sweet and funny. Lovely person. I’m going to miss him. I hope he’ll be happy in his assisted living situation. He’s been a patient of the dentist’s for- twenty years or so? He seems quite depressed with the passing of his wife. Poor guy. I don’t understand why his adult children won’t take him in. He would be looked after, cared for twenty-four hours a day, and have someone to talk to.

His kids are so selfish. I told them the implants would only come out to a little less than $5000. The man is on a reverse mortgage, so it’s not like he’s still paying for his home. Jeesh. I don’t see why they won’t help him out financially. I’m sure this gentleman has some retirement funds left. I mean, come on. Give a little. We’ve been giving him free toothbrushes for over twenty years!

Oh, well. No worries. My lecture on the replacement of four of his failed amalgams to crowns seemed to have opened his family’s ears. At least this patient is leaving with a newer mouth- today! Woot! I do hope they told the front desk of my efforts. They should know who held the ‘magic wand’ here. Give credit where credit is due, people.

Patient # 8: Hmm. Her plaque was minimal. Her build-up was completely negligible. Her gingivae was pink, firm, and stippled. There wasn’t anything there! How boring- and how rude. The least she could do is refer some of her friends to the practice. Although, she did purchase three home whitening kits from me… at forty bucks a pack! Booyah! Wonder how long she’ll be on COBRA insurance?

Uh-oh. Looks like she wants to talk. “My insurance is going to end soon,” said the patient sheepishly. “I see,” I replied, nodding my head slowly. The patient continued. “There’s no way I’ll be able to afford the veneers on all those front front teeth,” she said.

I pushed back the patient’s armrest of her chair, and had her follow me to the treatment plan conference room. I handed her the ‘pamphlet of redemption’.

“This is a brochure on CareCredit. It’s fantastic. I’m sure you’ll be approved for the service. I’ll have the office manager come in and talk with you about it.”

“Oh, OK,” said the patient quietly.

How fabulous am I? I don’t know. Genius is difficult to measure.

Patient #11: Thank you. Thank you for accepting my recommendations for full mouth SRP, that implant with crown, and whitening, as well as your glowing compliments to the dentist about my professionalism. You’ve put a smile on my face.

“Will my insurance cover all of this?” asked the patient.

“Your insurance should cover some of it, yes,” I stated.

“Well, what part won’t it cover?” asked the patient in a suddenly testy voice.

“I believe your insurance won’t cover the implant,” I replied.

“That’s the most expensive part of all this! Where am I going to get the money for that? I can’t find a job,” replied the patient.

“I understand. I do. Let’s find out what we can offer you up at the front desk,” I said.

“Do you mean a discount?” asked the patient.

“You bet. I’m sure the dentist would be more than happy to offer you some help,” I replied kindly.

“Well, what kind of a discount would I be eligible for?” asked the patient.

“You know, I’m not sure. Business has been really slow due to the lingering recession, but I’ll inquire for you at the front desk,” I said quietly. My head spun like a metal top when I walked slowly to the reception desk. My internal dialogue went into a panic-stricken, paranoid plea of nervousness.

Please give her a discount. Please give her one. I’ll get my bonus for the implant if they give her a discount. I’m so hungry. I need money for lunch. If I don’t eat something soon I’m going to keel over in front of the doctor, then he’ll think I’m sick and start to wonder if I can keep up with thirty minute prophys and may want to get rid of me and find another hygienist younger and more fit who will be able to handle the schedule and sell more dentistry.

Please, please, please give her the discount…

Whew. This has been the best day ever! I am a goddess of dental persuasion and an inspiring team player. I am a glorious specimen of professionalism, kindness, and knowledge and only a few may stand in awe of my greatness. The dentist said I shouldn’t have offered that last patient a five percent discount on her implant, but he seemed pleased that she accepted the treatment. My superhero potency has returned full strength. I am devoid of all negative thoughts, and the force I have as a hygiene-selling-powerhouse is pulsing through my veins.

I. AM. INVINCIBLE.

Now… what will my $5.00 incentive check buy me for lunch today?

Bite guards and rape kits

October 16, 2011 By Trish Walraven 1 Comment

Looking for good FUD (click the link) to feed your patients? Remind them why they want to come to you instead of to the discount dental office down the street with this video clip from the CBS sitcom Two Broke Girls:

ADA Session No-Nos

October 14, 2011 By Trish Walraven 2 Comments

For the most part, the American Dental Association meeting in Las Vegas this past week was a dignified, educational, and exciting exhibition. On the other hand, this article is dedicated to some of the stuff that didn’t go over so well.

Exhibit No. 1: Booth Babes

Really? If this is what it takes to sell your dental products, you probably need better products. Hot girls are nice and all, but you seem to have forgotten that half of dentists these days are women themselves.

Exhibit No. 2: Excessive use of color

I get it already. But yellow is the least of the problems here.

Exhibit No. 3: Roll it, don’t fold it

When you only have one thing hanging up at your booth, you really should make sure that thing isn’t creased and messy-looking.

Exhibit No. 4: Voyeurism

An interproximally wedged bit of corned beef begged me to visit the Sonicare AirFloss demo after lunch, and of course I’d been wanting to try it out ever since its preview here at DentalBuzz. What I didn’t realize was that a bunch of people would be peeking their heads around the corner from the sinks while I shot microbursts between my teeth.

Exhibit No. 5: You look stupid

There’s two ways to get into this group. If you’re getting paid to look like a fool, hey, in this economy, at least you have a job! And then there’s the second way, which proves that paper crowns should only be passed out to small children at Burger King.

Exhibit No. 6: Pretentious company names

But the URL was available!!!! Even the kids wearing the orange shirts look skeptical.

Exhibit No. 7: Unpretentious company names

And sometimes you should try harder to come up with a name for your business.

Exhibit No. 8: Pawn Stars

Editing is a reality TV show’s best friend, as evidenced by the Pawn Stars Roadshow held at the ADA meeting.There were the obligatory purchases of dental gold (3.5 ounces for $2,000, on one sale) but for the most part the items that were brought on the stage for appraisal were met with yawns, disinterest, and concerns about authenticity.

One thing’s true though: the reality show’s stars are the real deal. What you see on the History Channel’s number one show is what you get. Not only did pawn shop owner Rick Harrison share his story about how he became the “media whore” that he is today (his words, not mine) and his experiences in the dental chair, we got a glimpse of the real Chumlee Russell when he accidentally fell off the back of the stage. Now I know why there are “I Heart Chumlee” shirts for sale all over Vegas.

Exhibit No. 9: Bad planning

So, you create a display area for a show that’s esthetically pleasing and then JACK IT UP with loud hand-scribbled posters. Either they forgot to offer a show deal or it’s genius marketing to make it look like they’re going out of business and have the BEST SHOW SPECIAL EVER! And what’s with the unapproachable chick stance? Wow, tough sell.

Exhibit No. 10

There’s no exhibit number ten. I just wanted to make fun of this guy again:

If dental care is free, then who cares?

October 4, 2011 By Trish Walraven 1 Comment

The results of a national survey conducted a few months ago were released today:

Majority of Americans Support Mid-Level Dental Provider to Expand Access to Dental Care

Four-in-Ten Americans or Their Family Members Put Off Dental Care Due to Cost, according to the W.K. Kellogg Foundation.

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. – Millions of Americans cannot find affordable dental care in their communities and many want to explore mid-level providers as a way to improve their access to needed oral health care, according to a national survey released today by the W.K. Kellogg Foundation.

The survey reveals that many Americans are struggling to get the care that they need. Forty-one percent of Americans report they or someone in their household has put off dental care because of cost and 30% say they do not have a place to receive dental care.

Based on a poll of 1,023 adults, the survey, conducted by Lake Research Partners, finds that more than 80% of Americans believe it is difficult for people to get free or low-cost dental care in their communities, and think the number of Americans who cannot access dental care is a problem.

Here’s my thoughts on this survey: We are born with teeth, we don’t have to purchase them, so why should we have to keep paying for them? This mentality is what leads people to get away with the least cost for medical care as possible, because they don’t want to have to pay for something that they originally got for free. “Every tooth in a man’s head is more valuable than a diamond.” – Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605

So duh, of course the survey would reflect such an attitude. Whether it’s economically feasible to create a midlevel provider position or not shouldn’t even be in question; the current markets of dentists and hygienists are already flooded in metropolitan areas. The solutions should be incentive-based: forgiveness of school loans, possibly more independent preventive care delegation to hygienists in public health settings, much more education-based intervention, aggressive messages from AdCouncil or whatever it takes to get the word out that natural teeth are an investment; at the going rate a full set of implants is what? 50 grand? THERE’S your message.

Originally I posted this statement at Dr. Bicuspid but thought it could stand an airing-out here as well. And I know, as a card-waving member of the American Dental Hygienists’ Association you’d think I’d be all for the creation of a midlevel provider position, right? I probably would be, except for one thing: the current anticipated incomes of midlevel providers are significantly less than the average hygienist incomes in this country. It’s almost like there was a deal in the back corner of a committee, saying: hahaha, you GO to school two more years, girlie-girl. The dental boards will assure that it’s not economically worth your while to further your education.

Until the in-fighting between the militant factions of dentists and hygienists simmers, I believe that this survey only serves to get under the skin of those who will use it to justify their own stances. Something’s got to change though, when doctors and patients alike are excessively frustrated with some questionable treatments that are performed in dental clinics primarily funded with Medicaid dollars.

Here’s how I know something’s wrong with our government dental care programs: the majority of today’s Medicaid offices aren’t even hiring hygienists. So much for midlevel providers. So much for prevention.