Patients won’t even notice it

Internal Memo, Bright Happy Smile Dental Associates

From: Dr. Stan Freebie

To: All office personnel at Bright Happy Smile Dental

My dear team:

It is with great joy that I share this news with you! Starting next month, we will begin offering all of our patient services free of charge. This in no way affects your paycheck because our funding will come from generous sponsors instead of from the patients themselves.

Our insurance coordinator, Kathy, will be changing positions in the practice to take over the duty of implementing this new and exciting program. In order to qualify for this sponsorship, we will all need to modify our office routines in the following ways to allow for maximum product placement:

• When answering the phone or greeting a patient, business personnel will mention the name of the building sponsor. As an example: “Thank you for calling the Bright Happy Smile Dental Associates, brought to you by Comcast. How may I help you?”

 

• Any items that are given to the patient for use while in the practice (pens, cups, tissues) should be called by the name that is printed on them. Be sure to use the logo name and not the customary name; for instance, a patient napkin will now be called the Red Lobster bib.

 

• The liquids dispensed in any form, whether from an air-water syringe or a high-speed handpiece, should be referred to as Coca-Cola coolant.

 

• All crowns, fillings, and inlays/onlays will be described to the patient as dental restorations by Kay Jewelry. The exception to this are veneers; they will still be called Lumineers.

 

• Patients who come in for preventive maintenance will need to be informed that their dental prophylaxis appointment is now called a Jiffy Lube.

 

• To reduce no-shows and to improve communications with everyone who visits our practice, Kathy will be collecting the cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses of each patient so that we can send them periodic newsletters, text messages, and appointment reminder emails. Our sponsor’s logos will be included on all correspondence.*

 

I hope that this new series of changes inspires all of you to continue to strive towards dental excellence and office harmony. If you have any concerns about this please speak with Kathy about the policies. I’ll be taking the next two weeks off as I recover from my LA-Inked full-body Google tattoo.

Sincerely,

Dr Freebie

 

*This part of the memo is for real. DentalSenders currently offers the unlimited service for free to all dental practices, as long as you don’t mind the extra product placement on emails sent from your office. There are no contracts, no software to purchase, plus you’ll be able to ramp up your office efficiency by reducing the amount of time spent on the phone confirming patients. Dental Senders integrates with most practice management software programs, and it’s definitely worth a try.