I have a soft spot in my heart for funny Engrish. Except when the person writing it has a blatant disrespect for patents, trademarks, and such. Isolite Systems has a slam-dunk product that has been previously featured here on DentalBuzz, and yes, we’ve even suggested that a clever hack was available which still gives the Isolite company a repeat source of income. There’s hacking, and then there’s design forgery.

This introductory email should sufficiently scare you away from even thinking about going to the dark side:

Dear Sir/Madam:

Good day! I am very pleasure to send you an E-mail to introduce our product– ISOlight Shining Suction! Pls check attachment. This product can bring a few of advantage for dentistry:

1. Work Faster, Brighter, Drier

ISOlight Shining Suction is with a continuous, powerful and shadowless illumination. Dentist can see it mach more clearly inside mouth, then they can work accurately and faster. The special design mouthpiece can supply a widely space for dentist. Operation become more convenience. This device can connect with high/low suction. then the water will go throuth mouthpiece and maintain mouth drier. The patient doesn’t need to get up the spit the water.

2. Shining Suction Stop Interruption and save more time, dentst can get more appointment

Base of the advantage, dentst can complete the operation faster and patient become more comfortable. EACH OPERATION WILL BE FAST 25%-30%. In the same working time, dentist can take more appointment and create more profit. In the same time, dentist and patient would not feel tried.

3.  Save Work

Shining Suction supply self-suction. Nurse doesn’t need to stay beside patient and hold high/low suction. She/he will be free to do the other assistance such as: mix the colophony and materail, clean the instrument, do autoclavable, pass and take the instrument etc. Then dentist can do operation more dedicated.

4. Safe

Special Mouthpiece will protect tongue and cheek. Patient will not be easy to get hurt.

5. Better Ergonomics

The ergonomic design of Shining Suction reduces fatigue and repetitive stress associated with retraction, suctioning, eyestrain, and motion spent adjusting headlights, overhead light or otherwise positioning the patient for better access or visibility.

6. Save Cost

The bright shining suction will supply the powerful light in mouth. Dentist doesn’t need to buy expensive fiber optic product, such as: Fiber optic handpice, fiber optic scaler, headlight, etc.

ISOlight Shining Suction is the new revolution dental product with many useful advantage. It will definitely help you increase your efficiency and profit. ISOlight will be your best assistant on your job.

If you have any question, pls feel free to contact me.

Do you still fight in the hard competition of old product? Do you still think about how to increase your business? Do you still warry about the profit reduce of old product? I think it is time to indraught ISOlight Shining Suction to help you.

For more detail and best distributor price, pls send E-mail to reference with your company detail.

Sincerely waitting for your reply. Have a nice day! Best regard

Kevin Guan, Export Manager, Codent Technology Co., Ltd

_________

If you ever see any other dental product knockoffs let us know here at DentalBuzz so we can “out” the dastardly company. SOPA and PIPA censoring isn’t the answer to problems like this on the internet. Awareness can only go so far, too. The real stand today has to be internal, so make sure that you continue to promote good enterprise instead of just free enterprise.

And it’s so hard for me to stand firm on my ethics because they make some REALLY CUTE HERMES BAG knockoffs out there! But I must stand up. For Isolite. And for every innovative company online that does its best to stay honest.

Dental materials have needs. Especially the need to be timed. Like, how long has that anesthetic been working? Or when will the alginate set?

Instead of having to remember all the working and set times for the products that you use every day, maybe what you need is a computer timer that’s specifically designed for dentistry.

Sure, you can use it for your operatory chess matches, timing how long your assistant was in the restroom, or reminding yourself to check the hygiene patient. But its best uses are definitely dental-centric.

Download the BlueMinder Dental Timer here for free. Doesn’t cost anything – no data, no money. Just install it at each clinical computer, tell your assistant to add your most-used dental materials (or just rely on the included materials library) and you can ditch the grey LCD clock boxes on your tray tables forever.

Or at least you can use it until the dental materials can time themselves.

Forty-something years ago the US had a revolution that twisted the Mad Men-tality of societal standards. The shadow is all that’s left now: the 60′s are just another commodity that’s most visible in ‘tween fashions and feelgoody Volkswagen campaigns.

There’s probably a few Free Love dustbunnies that have survived by clumping together at Jimmy Buffett concerts (did all the Deadheads join the Parrotheads? are they all now DeadParrotHeads?). Anything else is marketing, which brings us to this Time Life Music parody video from KaVo. It’s not particularly inventive, but it has enough good characters and pretend song titles from the era to keep the average dental professional engaged. Oh, and you can sign up to try any KaVo handpiece for free:

Sorry that you can’t get those three minutes of your life back, but you have to admit that the gal singing “Take Another Little Piece of My Tooth” showed real talent and made most of it worthwhile. Also, patients shouldn’t be used as props. This one just stares at the dentist the whole time he’s talking…

Now go try a handpiece and show KaVo that their creative department really is doing its job so their employees will get more money and maybe the next video they make will be one that you DO share with everyone.

By Trish Walraven

This picture was snapped at the local mall last week. If your Sephora shop is like ours, it has recently capitalized on its space across the mall from the Apple Store and is now targeting the same people who like to wear iPods around their necks. Glowy! White! Cords! Teeth? Hmmm.

I haven’t actually purchased the Glo™ system so the least I could do is to try to help sell a few of them with this exclusive “DentalBuzz How-To Guide for Avoiding the Dentist But Still Whiten Your Teeth a Tiny Bit.”

Step 1: Remind yourself that you really hate the dentist. And justify your reasons for not going to one by telling yourself that you brush every day with a toothpaste that you see advertised on TV. And mouthwash. You always use mouthwash, because it protects your teeth. So you don’t need a dentist.

Step 2: Save up $275. This is very important because you can’t get white teeth for free, no matter how much you see it offered by area dentists as a special for new patients. It’s NOT FREE. Also, make sure not to read up on any scientific studies about how light-activated or heat-activated whitening is no more effective than bleaching gel alone. Or that dentists use bleaching gel that is usually more than triple the strength of the strongest OTC whitener available. None of that matters because you are going to do this yourself with your own hard-earned money. Besides, insurance doesn’t cover whitening anyway so that’s one more way that a dentist won’t be ripping you off.

Step 3: Purchase the Glo Brilliant™ Personal Teeth Whitening Device at the place of your choice, either at Home Shopping Network, or Sephora, or directly from GloScience. And then justify the purchase one more time because the company has “science” in their name, after all.

Step 4: This is the most fun step! Take all of the stuff out of the kit and marvel over it. SPOILER ALERT! I’m going to tell you what you get:

•A lighted mouthpiece that comes with its own case!
•10 G-Vials! Futuristic-looking smearable 6% hydrogen peroxide gel tubes with built in brushes. G-Vials. Sounds kinky.
•The Glo™ Control. It’s so three generations of iPods ago….but….FOR TEETH!
•A Charging Dock! Docking is fun. And a Music Player! (just kidding, no music)
•A USB power plug. It plugs into your computer! And its for your teeth! (you should be squealing by now with joy).
•Glo™ Lip Balm. Because hydrogen peroxide is caustic.
•a BAG!!!! To carry it all in! Because you want to be able to whiten your teeth at your mom’s, while you’re driving to your job interview, or wherever you have an urge to wear the GloControl around your neck.

Step 5: Check to see that the GloControl is charged and hang it around your neck. You wouldn’t want to be putting the mouthpiece in your mouth all dark, now, would you? Also, apply a thin layer of the lip balm on your lips, and pout, because you’re too cute to get burned.

Step 6: Open one of the G-Vials and squeeze it until the gel appears on the brush (ooh. higher. Higher. There.). Brush the gel onto the fronts of teeth, taking care not to slobber on them.

Step 7: Plug in the mouthpiece, press the GLO button, unhinge your jaw and then cram the mouthpiece all the way in until it covers both your top and bottom teeth. Watch this video if you think I’m exaggerating.

Step 8: Spend the next eight minutes going about your day. This is verbatim from the GloScience website. Then you’ll want to immediately do Step 6 through Step 8 three more times, for 32 consecutive minutes per day. One G-Vial per day for ten days.

Step 9: Marvel at how much whiter your teeth are! You’ll probably notice a change, and hopefully the bleaching will last longer than a month, but if it doesn’t, just repeat Step 1 over and over until you feel better. And then buy some G-Vial refills. You know how you like your G-Vials.

Do you remember what came before this in the mall? The chairs, the lights, the kiosks, the leased-out spaces with people parading around in white lab coats? I think that this is a change for the good, and because the treatment course is similar to that recommended by dentists, it probably is much more effective. Well, except for the light. But then no one could charge so much just for the bleach and the tray?

Here’s to the power of bling.

by Trish Walraven

I’m taking flossing to the airwaves. Mah NUMPH bErrr BEHRRRRR… Don’t my riffs sound great?

No?

But it’s air guitar, man, use your imagination! Feel the energy, the passion, the creative flow that turns all of us into rock stars on our gaming consoles!

Something you may not have realized is that you are already a star, at least in the eyes of your patients. A Dental Star. Rock on. Your opinions are gold. Patients ask which toothpaste is best? Which mouthwash should they be using?

One question they never ask is “What should I use to clean between my teeth?” Do patients even register a thought about their interproximal surfaces? Here’s a question for you as a person, not as a dental professional: how often do you think about the skin between your toes? (toejam. eww.)

My point exactly.

But we think about the skin between teeth all the time. That’s where we see the most gingivitis, the highest plaque scores, the most room for improvement. And we’re tired of laying guilt trips on our patients when we realize that they’re not flossing.

That’s when you want to be able to point to alternatives and say to your non-flossers, “Maybe this will work for you.”

Water Piks are wet, messy, and have been around since the 1960′s. Still, they are my go-to recommendation for non-mechanical biofilm reduction because I see improvements in bleeding scores with patients who use them daily. They are also ubiquitous and affordable, making them more attractive than some of the higher priced or obscure dental water jets.

What’s that? Philips has a new gadget that competes with Water Pik? Well, Philips products can be bought everywhere, too! Can you say, “market penetration?” Can you say, “a funhouse explosion in your mouth?”

It’s called the Sonicare AirFloss, and it was introduced to the world a few weeks ago at the International Dental Show in Germany. Philips is being cheeky about it at the moment, but it looks to be making its American debut at the California Dental Association Meeting in Anaheim next week.

The Sonicare AirFloss is said to replace flossing with micro-bursts of water and air. Fill its reservoir with a few teaspoons of mouthwash or water and you’re ready to blast the little legs off your biofilm bugs.

As of this writing, the only way to learn more about the AirFloss is to sign your office up for a Lunch and Learn at the Sonicare website. Who would turn down free food and a nugget of sponsored CE credit to expand their knowledge base about a product that patients will soon be coming to us for answers about its worthiness?

I am always intrigued by the buzz about new preventive products. As an idea that Philips recently acquired with the purchase of Discus Dental, the Air Floss is being presented in a warm fuzzy cushion of patient acceptance. Do patients like this more than flossing? Do they like it more than using a Water Pik? This presentation makes me think that the science behind the product hasn’t shown the health results that Philips had hoped it would. Watch this video from the IDS in Cologne and see what you think. This is Maria Perno Goldie, RDH Village eFocus editor:

And then there’s me. My family will be so thankful when we get an AirFloss because it might just keep me from pretending to be on American Idol when I think I’m alone in the bathroom:

Concert yell, WooOOOOOOOO!

Living the dream, baby.

Thanks, Star Dental, for the shirt. You rock, too.

5/13/11 Update: The AirFloss is now live on the Sonicare Website!

by Trish Walraven

We know that you want to protect your family from anything that you hear about in the media. Especially radiation. Especially now, with the leaks at the nuclear power plant happening in Japan and with Dr. Oz telling everyone that going to the dentist could endanger their thyroid glands.

Your perception is made reality here at Safe Smiles Dental Care. Are you afraid of the cumulative effects of flying in airplanes, going outdoors, and X-Rays? Good.

Why do we say good? Because the way we nurture your fear of radiation sets us apart from other dental offices. We won’t say, “Oops, let’s re-take that xray; it didn’t come out right” here. We will get it right the first time, because, gosh darn it, we care. And we spent a lot of money on rectangular collimators with little magnets and beepers that tell you that we’re all lined up. And what about “Sorry, the thyroid collar will obstruct our view so we can’t use it”? You won’t hear that in our office either. We’ll just not worry your pretty little head about that part of your jaw.

This is what we call scratching our niche, baby. Our practice is the ultimate low-radiation dental office, and you won’t find this level of concern down the street at Dr. Happy-go-lucky’s practice. No way. We’ll massage your fears away with our assurance that any cancer you get in your lifetime won’t be from dental radiation.

So give us a call today at (990) 648-2130 to schedule your complimentary screening exam. We also offer just radiological services if you prefer to have your dental x-rays taken at our office and then forwarded to a dentist of your choice. But that’s such a hassle. Come on, you know you’d rather stay here with us. Especially when you start seeing these warning symbols posted all over the signs of our local competition:

Stay safe, and we’ll look forward to seeing you soon!

__________________

Yesterday on his network television show Dr. Mehmet Oz defended his remarks back in September about the necessity of lead thyroid collar use during dental x-rays whenever possible by stating that “there’s no good reason not to protect yourself against radiation.” While this is true, the bottom line is about using radiation in a way that leads to best outcomes in our patients, a point that several guest physicians also tried to make despite the protests of Dr. Oz.

Seriously, when you look at the sources of radiation in the world today, why worry about the miniscule intentional amounts? All radiation is dangerous, and it should be limited as much as possible, but the only way to avoid it totally is to dig a radon-free hole somewhere and live like a makedd roll gnat the rest of your life (ummmm. I mean naked mole rat. So hard to get that one right!). Calm your fears with this Radiation Dose Chart that was recently compiled, complete with facts about the Fukushima Nuclear plant (click on the image for full-size).

Another thing that I whipped up here for all you DentalBuzz readers is a Medical Radiation Dose Chart to download and show to your patients that have no idea how much radiation that they may be getting from the more common diagnostic procedures. I didn’t know a lot of it myself, so originally I created it to use in our office but you may find it helpful too. Did you know that it takes 10,000 PA radiographs to reach the annual limit of x-radiation? How many CT scans does it take to reach the limit? I’m too lazy to do all the math but it looks like 1 CT scan equals about 2,000 bitewings (film, not digital) according to this chart.

Regardless, we all have a responsibility to admit that we don’t know what we don’t know. And perhaps Dr. Oz may be a little right; we should do our best to protect our patients from radiation whenever possible, adapting the ALARA (As Low As Reasonably Achievable) principle with regards to radiation in dentistry.

Enter the media blitz. Interactive Digital Imaging (IDI) is re-introducing its rectangular collimator with a PR campaign targeting consumers. Dental patients will be encouraged to “Look for the Green Ring” at their dental offices, similar to the “Ask Your Doctor About” style of direct-to-consumer advertising used by the pharmaceutical industry. Originally priced at $1295, the newly redesigned Tru-Align collimator will be offered at $795 with improvements that overcome cone-cut errors and enhancements that make the positioner more user-friendly.

My favorite feature of the Tru-Align system is not that it can be used with any typical XCP holders (but still a good thing – this includes sensors, phosphor plates, and film), but that when you bump up the xray cone to the collimation ring, you get a magnetized lock-on and an audible beep to let you know that you will NOT be getting a cone-cut on that image. BAM! ZAP! If nothing else, the precision of this thing should impress our patients. And if they’re the kind that are really concerned about their radiation exposure, you can spew some factoids about reducing the absorbed dose from around 150 microsieverts to 30 microsieverts for an 18-image FMX series.

What it finally comes down to is having the right things to say to your patients when they ask about radiation, and addressing any real problems that you may be having in your office, like the assistant who has to re-take a periapical x-ray three times in order to get the one that you need. Or making sure that your thyroid collars are actually being Velcroed behind your patients’ necks. Or halting the bacteria-fest breeding on your lead aprons. My bet is that’s the biggest offense of all. Ahhh, a problem for another day…..

___

Thanks to these blogs whose articles have helped shape this one:

The ALARA Principle: Dr. Jeffrey Hoos and Michael Razzano on Dentistry IQ

The Digital Dentist Lorne Lavine

Dr. Oz discusses Dental X-Rays and Thyroid Cancer: Dr. Todd Welch at The Science of Dentistry

by Trish Walraven

Rubber dams, meet silicone simplicity! Awkward assistants, take your cheek retraction and spit-sucking attempts elsewhere. You have both been banned from the operatories where isolation mouthpieces rule supreme.

First brought to market in 2005, Isolite™ Systems originated the idea of combining dryfield illumination and isolation in a patented product called the Isolite, which costs about $1700 per operatory to set up. Whoa, steeeeep. The tubing and LED Smart Stick sure isn’t their loss leader, now, is it? Then you still have to buy a $2.50 mouthpiece for each patient because they’re not sterilizable. All of it together is still easier and less expensive than your assistant.

But what if you want to keep your assistant, even though she kicks you under the chair all those times you say something stupid to a patient or start getting all OCD over a procedure? You’ve already ditched your overhead lamp for loupe-mounted headlights, so maybe you don’t even need the Lite part of the Isolite.

About a year ago, Isolite™ Systems indroduced a non-illuminating version called the IsoDry that runs a little less than half the cost of the original product. Both systems come with extra tubing. Tooobing. Makes me want to laze down the Guadalupe River with a six-pack in a styrofoam cooler. Don’t we have enough tubes and hoses to twist around each other already?

This brings us to the essence, the soul, the very magic of what makes the Isolite System the game-changer that it has become. It’s all about the mouthpiece. This transparent, comfortable, easy-to-insert soft piece of silicone not only attaches to high-speed suction to create a dry field, it replaces bite blocks, throat packs, cotton rolls, drying angles, and everything else that you used to cram in your patient’s mouth to create a perfect restorative environment.

But in order to use the mouthpiece, the rule is, you have to buy an Isolite or an Isodry. You can’t just stick it onto your high-speed suction and use it solo.

Or can you?

Mark Frias, RDH, can hook you up to go commando. Literally. He’s invented a hook-up mod for the Isolite mouthpieces that must have been driven by the frustration of trying to keep a squirmy six year old’s teeth dry for sealants with traditional isolation. You can see the differences between his design and the original Isolite on the left. It’s not sleek and sexy, but from a cost perspective this little adapter is a no-brainer. Mark calls it the Kona Adapter. Why? Is he an Ironman Triathlete from Hawaii? Actually, I think he named it after his dog.

Whatever the case, the ingenuity here is striking at a great moment. Mark is having difficulty keeping Kona Adapters in stock if that’s any indication of its demand.

For those who are concerned about taking business away from Isolite, Mark suggests purchasing a single system for one of your operatories and fitting the rest with Kona Adapters. This will give you the privilege of being an official Isolite customer so that you can be assured that you aren’t buying mouthpieces on the down low.

And everyone really wins here. Isolite could give the system away like Gillette gave away razor handles to sell you the blades for the rest of your life, or use the printer model: sell the hardware cheaply to lock you into high-priced ink refills. It’s not like Isolite Systems is exactly losing money on the mouthpieces. With this new adapter, Isolite can now make money from the dental practices that may have not been able to justify a whole-office use of their product.

So slippery-gripped assistants everywhere: Ding! You are now free to move about the office. Your hands have finally been relieved without a significant lightening of your employers’ bank accounts.

by Trish Walraven

Won’t be the first time that a newer technology replaced vinyl, huh? Then again, the heydays of cassette tapes and CDs are long gone as well. Does this mean that vinyl impression material will soon become “wall flair” like restaurant nostalgia record albums? CREEEpy.

So Align Technology has officially agreed to purchase Cadent, makers of the iTero intra-oral scanning system. That means that in a few years, the only offices using impression material will be the same ones that use film and developer for x-rays. A few hours ago this email was sent out to all iTero users. I’d consider this the death knell for polyvinyl impressions:

Dear iTero Partner:

I am writing to share some exciting news that offers tremendous potential for Cadent and our customers. Today, Align Technology, makers of the Invisalign system, announced a definitive agreement to acquire Cadent Holdings, Inc.  Align shares our belief that intra-oral scanning is one of the most exciting technologies available to doctors. Intra-oral scanning systems provide a chair-side platform for accessing valuable digital diagnosis and treatment tools, with tremendous potential for enhancing accuracy of records, treatment efficiency, and the overall patient experience.

While working together on interoperability and Invisalign applications to run on Cadent iTero and iOC scanners, we saw an opportunity to combine our two companies’ capabilities and market-leading technology to bring innovative new diagnosis and treatment tools to our customers, thereby extending the value of intra-oral scanning in dental practices.

After the satisfaction of all legal and regulatory requirements, Cadent will become a wholly owned subsidiary of Align Technology. Align is committed to supporting and investing the technology and scanning systems that are Cadent’s core competencies. They plan to keep the existing family of Cadent products, and will combine their expertise with ours to bring innovative new tools to our customers. This type of integration will take some time; while under way, each company will remain focused on its own customers and service commitments. Once the acquisition closes – which we expect in the second quarter of this year – we will have more information to share with you about the benefits of this integration for our customers.

Finally, you may know that we have been working with Invisalign to establish interoperability, which will allow doctors to submit Cadent intra-oral, scans in place of traditional PVS impressions for Invisalign treatment. We are currently in the final stage of Beta testing and are on track to announce interoperability in the second quarter of this year.

We believe we are only scratching surface of what we can accomplish through 3D imaging and intra-oral scanning. Once we’ve captured an accurate digital impression of a patient’s dentition, the possibilities for how to use that data in all areas of restorative, cosmetic, orthodontic and preventative treatment are endless. Both Cadent and Align see the broader potential this technology has for improving dentistry, and together, we have the resources and expertise to turn those possibilities into valuable tools for your practice and patients. We look forward to sharing more details with you in the coming weeks and months.

Sincerely,

Kerri Sebring
Vice-President of Marketing, Cadent

Is it really the end of goopy gagging? Vinyl impression material (and alginate, for that matter) will probably always have its place, but this is the first step to making digital impressions a standard part of dentistry instead of the hip fringey thing it is now.

And my shoes thank you, Align.

Added March 30th
For all you Invisalign lovers, this parody by the two Dr. Glassmans made me giggle to myself:

If you have just one guy to act out all the parts in a tongue cleaner sales video, this is what you may come up with:

Great joke for a real actual purchaseable product – also be sure to view the Bad Breath Test video. Me? I’ll just stick with gagging myself with a toothbrush for now.

by Trish Walraven

The Dramatization:

At first it was small. The outbreak began in Florida’s Tampa Bay Area as local hospitals noticed an influx of patients with complaints of turquoise discolorations of their lips and aversion to simple carbohydrates. Once case histories were correlated it was noticed that all those who were affected had either recently received an inoculation of a mutant version of Streptococcus mutans at their dentist’s office or had been in close contact with someone who had.

Initially the culprit was thought to be excessive consumption of blue raspberry slushies, but by the time the CDC discovered that an organism was responsible for these symptoms and that it was bacterial in origin and highly contagious the disease had spread far beyond Florida and had affected millions throughout the US and abroad.

There have been no reports of mortality, save the demise of the soft drink and candy industries. Sugar consumption has plummeted as more of the population becomes infected by this new strain of bacteria which was originally created to cure the problem of dental decay. Because persons who are affected display a noticeable change in their appearance, blue lips have become a strong signal of exclusion due to the fear surrounding this epidemic. However, as more evidence points to the positive outcomes of having been infected, the “blue look” is currently trendy in the larger cities. Blue-lipped patrons that had been banned from public venues such as restaurants and arena events are slowly trickling in, thanks to the assurances from the World Health Organization that this current situation has actually caused more good than harm. The long-term effects will be felt by dentists, who, in the next 30 years, will see an attrition of their necessity as caries becomes extinct, and possibly within the cosmetics industry with a shift in lip color preferences.

The Reality

Um, Yay? It’s been like, since the early 70′s that everyone’s been asking for a caries vaccine. And wouldn’t you know it? A company in the United States is already so ON this. Oragenics first initiated their first Phase 1 Clinical trials in 2005 but were halted by the FDA because of the fear of something happening like the above scenario. Think I’m kidding? Okay, maybe I was being sensational. But there can be genuine risks when you fiddle with a few genes, and the FDA seemed to be mainly concerned with the lack of a plan to eradicate attenuated strains in the test subjects’ children. AHHHHH!

It starts to get interesting when you look at the solution that Oragenics came up with to begin their second Phase 1 testing announced last week: The trial subjects will be inoculated with a strain of S. mutans that cannot survive without the amino acid D-alanine, which is not found in a normal human diet. This means that the subjects will have to feed their germs daily with a mouthwash to keep them from dying.

Are you excited yet? Well, you’d better hold those horses back for a while. A long while. It’s going to take a bunch of time and a lot more money to get this to the market.

The inoculation is designed to be a painless 5-minute treatment with a cotton-tipped swab to deliver the suspension of Oragenics’ patented bacterial strain into a patient’s mouth during routine dental visits. But this one won’t die without feeding. It will live forever.

And what is it supposed to do once it goes viral? Err… bacterial? Oragenics calls this treatment SMaRT Replacement Therapy™ and it promises to:

• Offer lifelong protection against tooth decay caused by S. mutans

• Eliminate the creation of lactic acid by oral bacteria

• Dramatically reduce the ability of S. mutans to cause tooth decay

• Be genetically stable

• Grow at a rate similar to non-genetically-altered S. mutans

• Aggressively displace the native, decay-causing strains of S. mutans and preemptive colonization of its niche

• Not cause any acute or chronic adverse side effects

I think it’s a foregone conclusion that this sort of genetic manipulation is probably the only way we’ll and break caries’ hold on humanity and the loss of teeth caused by decay. We can’t just kill all the bugs in our gut – all the Jamie Lee Curtis Activia commercials have given us TMI about probiotics lately – so it makes sense that this same premise is true in our mouths.

And the raspberry slushie is still your best bet for getting blue lips. Sorry, Oragenics will probably not be helping you there.