We were impressed that when put on the spot between inaugural balls today, President Barack Obama was able to outline his plan to give all people in the United States of America the right to a beautiful, healthy smile. The big question is: just

Obama’s Mastication Initiative for America (MIA)

The people of the United States should realize that teeth are a quality of life issue. The government cannot force a citizen to take care of his or her body, nor should a person be penalized for issues that are beyond their control. We have seen the insurance industry take hold of healthcare and overvalue its services. Furthermore, dentists throughout our great nation have resisted the tide of managed medicine and are now capable of not only improving the quality of their patients’ lives, but even the very length of the average American lifespan.

When we look at the technological advances that have been made in dentistry, we know that now is the time for change. It is this administration’s hope that by combining personal responsibility with expert guidance, my Mastication Initiative for America will fulfill the needs of all Americans, not just the ones barely getting by; not just the wealthy, but every one of us.

The details will be forthcoming when I have more than a few breaths of air between dipping my wife on dance floors, but here is a brief outline of the plan:

1. Participation in the plan is voluntary, both for dental providers and for patients.

2. Payments will be made directly to patients on a yearly basis, with the exception of the Lump Sum plan that is described in line 6.

3. All participating dental practices will engage the use of a government-approved method of data gathering and reporting, to be agreed upon in the future, but possibly a special watermarked panoramic digital image that can be submitted to the Department of Health and Human Resources. This will significantly decrease the ability for fraudulent reporting on patient status.

4. Each person under the age of 30 will be required to have yearly dental images submitted on their behalf for reimbursement by the federal government. There will be a fixed amount allowed per person, regardless of actual care rendered. i.e. $500 per year per person under 30. Under no circumstances will any funds be reimbursed if basic preventive measures were not pursued by the patient or their family.

5. Third Molar Extraction will be considered a medical expense, as will any congenital deformity that is currently considered the arena of oral maxillofacial surgeons, so is excluded from the MIA plan.

6. At the age of 30, regardless of previous dental history, all citizens will be eligible for Dental Implant Screening (DIS). Because of the excellent properties of implants versus natural teeth regarding the elimination of the periodontium and thus the link to systemic disease, it is the MIA’s recommendation for DIS to be implemented before dental disease is likely to permanently affect a person’s whole health. Those who are at risk for losing their teeth, who have already lost teeth, or who simply make the choice of not wanting to maintain their teeth will, at this time in their lives, be given the opportunity to have all their teeth removed and have dental implants placed instead. This is a Lump Sum, and will include a preventive appliance to be worn at night. Any person who has implants with DIS will not be able to participate in the MIA after having implants placed.

7. DIS practitioners will work directly for the government, be well-trained, and well-compensated for their expertise.

8. From the age of 30 onward, payments from the MIA will be based on the number of healthy, maintained teeth that a patient displays in the accepted yearly imaging submitted. Included as healthy teeth: those with no restorations, restored teeth with no active defects, teeth with successful root canal therapy, periodontally involved teeth with no bone loss noted within the past year, and dental implants. Teeth that would not be counted for MIA payments: Broken teeth, retained root tips, teeth with active decay, and teeth showing periodontal involvement that has progressed since the previous submitted image.

This is the plan that will ensure that all Americans will be able to smile proudly, whether it is a God-given smile or one granted to them by choice, and no longer will we as a nation be faced with lost work time, emergency room visits, and other troubles caused by bad teeth. After all, this is the very soil where the “Hollywood Smile” was born, and so I ask you to consider what is best for our country, for our children, and for dentistry in the new economy to come.

In so many ways, the BrytonPick is the best all-around new product in patient oral health care. 

It’s Green: One pick is reusable for up to 30 days.

It’s Cute: The BrytonPick looks like a little boomerang.

It’s Practical: Patients who absolutely will not use dental floss will be thrilled that a new option is available for food removal. This means they can stop using paper clips, business cards, matches, and fingernails.

It’s Portable: the BrytonPick comes with a credit card-sized carrying case.

It’s Brandable: the back of the carrying case can be printed with the name of your dental practice.

It’s Affordable: BrytonPicks each cost less than $2.

There’s only one problem: It’s made of metal, which makes it hard to watch the video on the BrytonPick website without getting that watery-mouth, galvanic shock sympathy shudder.

We finally figured out why the German guy was asking Dustin Hoffman “Is it safe?” in the movie Marathon Man. Obviously his wife was planning on having her third child and he was worried about the folk saying from his native country, “Every child costs the mother one tooth.”

Leave it to the Americans to show that these words actually hold a great deal of truth. Across the socioeconomic strata the results of data examination were consistent: women who gave birth to more children tended to lose more teeth during their lives.

So the next time a pregnant patient is worried about the baby “robbing calcium from her teeth,” dentists can acknowledge that there is a real correlation between making babies and an increase in dental disease. And then take steps with the mother-to-be to minimize the oral flora aggression that seems to rise in their mouths.

Hopefully this will mean fewer drills aimed directly through the central incisors.

The Oral-B Pulsar disposable electric toothbrush is the discreet answer to better pleasure, vitality, and all-around good vibes.

Once found only in the oral care department of superstores, the Oral-B Pulsar has now been endorsed by a pioneering gynecologist and may soon be the first product on the market to simultaneously receive the ADA Seal of Acceptance and the ABOG Standard of Therapy Seal. “Never before have we realized that a single product can fulfill two needs – perhaps even at the same time if the spouse is an enthusiastic brusher,” said one dental hygienist who wishes to remain anonymous.

Furthermore, the low cost of the Oral-B Pulsar opens the door to many more users who could not otherwise afford a vibrating device or who would stoop so low as to think of handling a toothbrush in this manner.

Readers of this blog who want to be further humored are highly encouraged to first read this actual news article from the Palm Beach Post, then to go play with the Pulsar Flash Video on Oral-B’s website. It will definitely change the way you look at power toothbrushes forever.

In our last episode, we left as the two camps bickered over what they were going to do once they had actually tracked down the elusive Maxillus mandibularis. The leader of Camp NeuroMuscular had leaned toward the fire, cradling the bowl of his pipe in his fingers and clenching its stem in his teeth like an NTI device. Removing the pipe, he suggested that the solution was to deprogram this infernal beast. 

“Nonsense!” replied Sir Centric Relation from under his handlebar moustache. “Everyone knows that you must guide the cuspid. It is the only way to stop the nightly rampage.”

As we return to the scene, Sir Centric stands up and peers into the encroaching darkness.

“But ho, what is this?” Out of the shadows steps a keen-eyed gentleman in a light blue seersucker suit and an obvious combover.

The man approaches the fire and begins his spiel. “You know what is the real problem, right? You just want to keep the Maxillus mandibularis from crashing in here and destroying everything. Do you think all those villagers care about why? They want this problem fixed, and they want it fixed today.”

The gentleman swiftly rolls out a sheet of something, squishes it around the beast’s water-hole, and waits for it to harden.

“There ya go. Problem solved. And it’ll cost you less than having those timberlogs dragged in from the forest. Besides, who has two weeks?”

“Certainly that shouldn’t be a problem. The villagers have been living with this for years.” says the leader of Camp Neuromuscular.

“Yes, but they came to you today for an immediate solution.”

“It’s only a stopgap. It doesn’t correct the underlying problem. And eventually the barrier will fail,” chime in the leaders of both camps.

The gentleman brings his fist up to his chin in thought. “Well, even if you can kill the beast, you do realize that it’s a protected species.”

“But no way is it in danger of going extinct. It must be laid to rest!”

“Yet, still so hard to kill quickly. Goodnight gentlemen. If you change your mind, just ask around. Everyone in these parts knows where to find me.”

The man in the suit slinks back off into the darkness, leaving the two leaders alone in silence, once again glaring at each other from across the campfire.

*********

When it comes to parafunction that eventually will whittle your patients’ teeth down to stumps at night, it only makes sense to fabricate some sort of cushion to soften the blow. Dentsply-Caulk has recently been advertising the inTerra iNoffice Nightguard. This product appears to break down some of the obstacles that come up as the dental profession seeks to eradicate bruxing from the planet.

The iNterra Nightguard’s VLC (visible light cure) material is packaged in three arch sizes. This soft tray is formed directly on the patient’s teeth while in the chair, tack cured in the mouth for a few minutes, and then completed in the lab in another 20 minutes, which makes same-day delivery a snap.

With an existing light-curing oven in your lab, the cost to begin fabricating nightguards in-office makes the iNterra system a decent value, cutting the usual lab fees for nightguards at least in half. Otherwise, be prepared to spend a few thousand dollars on a curing unit before you insert your first case.

Look at the iNterra Nightguard from an efficiency standpoint. Single appointment, no lab transportation issues, minimal doctor chairtime. You may also be able to improve case acceptance when passing on the reduced overhead costs to patients.

Is it the best way to prevent occlusal wear? Who’s to say? But the inTerra Nightguard is much better than doing nothing about parafunction.