You’ve watched way too many movies.

If you’ve got images of Star Trek’s Geordi LaForge, nerdy sidekicks in 80′s new-wave glasses a la John Hughes’ teen films, or the horrors of Total Recall memory augmentation burned into your retinas, then please, let those prejudiced views slide gently outside of your peripheral vision and consider that Virtual Reality glasses may actually be good and cheap enough these days to make them part of your patient comfort collection.

We want to heavily discourage dentists from spending thousands of dollars in wall or ceiling-mounted screens just so that patients can have something to look at besides your ugly mug while you’re fixing their teeth.

We’re not kidding.

The problem with screens like that, during dentistry, is that your head keeps getting in the way while your patient is trying to remain distracted.

There’s lots of other details that can end up complicating the whole thing, so instead of making this a gripe session about overbloated dental amenities, we’ve created a few tracks that will make it inexpensive and easy for you to start using VR glasses in your practice.

Track One: I want it all (hey yeah) and I want it now.

Bank commercials and Queen music aside, you want to have this up and running in your practice immediately.  Here’s the easiest way to get everything you need. Tonight.

1. Find your nearest Brookstone store and call them to make sure that they have a pair of these Vuzix™ iWear® AV230 XL Video Glasses ($200, plus tax) in stock. Go get ‘em, tiger.
2. Look through your home collection of DVDs for those with the most appeal over a wide variety of patients. Don’t forget to grab a few of those TV series’ episodes for those shorter appointments as well.
3. Steal your children’s portable DVD player that they don’t watch in the car anymore because they all have video iPods now.
4. Buy a bunch of AA rechargable batteries and a recharger, plus alcohol wipes for infection control, and some sort of basket or nice box to keep it all together when moving it from room to room.
5. Hand over the box of video goodies to your assistant, who will take it all from there.

Cost: Less than $300, unless you have to purchase your own DVD player (around $100) and videos.

Track Two: Keep it simple.

Efficiency is key to this next setup. You want something simple for your team to implement, that will work consistently, and appeal to the broadest spectrum of patients possible, from the 30 minute appointment to the full-mouth rehab. Everything can be purchased online and delivered to your office within the next week.

1. Purchase these 3.5 ounce i-Theater Glasses ($179) direct from the manufacturer, i-O Display Systems. Be sure to add a set of hygienic earbud covers ($20 for 25 pairs) to your shopping cart. The rechargeable batteries are included, as is an AC power adapter.
2. Get the right kind of DVDs. This is so important. Nothing with a plot because your patients won’t ever want to leave, or worse yet, you’re such a generous dentist that you’ll let everyone take the movies home to finish and then it’s a pain to keep up a decent office library. We recommend instead that you purchase some relaxing, endlessly looping DVDvideos. Our favorites are the Waves Virtual Vacations™ ($10-20), but you may love the music and nature videos at TV Artscapes ($16 and up) just as much. Your patients will want to be in your chair just for the ambience. Seriously.
3. Oh yeah, you’ll need something to actually play those DVDs, and the ones with the their own screens make it easy for the assistant to get the system set up and running properly. Best Buy has the reliable Dynex® Portable DVD Player ($90) that seems to hold up to abuse and also holds a charge well. You can also simply keep it plugged in with its own AC adapter.
4. The Box. It is a bit unprofessional to drag the gear and their cords and from operatory to operatory, so we like the Faux Leather Milk Cartons ($34 for two) from Target. They will stay looking good for many years, and are easy to keep clean.

Cost: $400-$500, shipping and tax included.

Track 3: That’s what I pay you for.

Many of the virtual reality companies directly appeal to dentists to buy their products for patient relaxation and entertainment. MedPED Media has gone several steps further and created an entire package called InChair TV that allows you to relax instead, and leave everything to them.

They’ve taken the exact same Vusix™ glasses seen in Track One above and added a Walkman-type portable DVD player.

But then comes the cool part.

InChair TV has gone all Netflix over dentists and not only are they offering a monthly mail-in “rental” system, but inserted between the shows on each DVD are these cute little dental cartoons that advertise services you provide, like teeth whitening and veneers. Each monthly package comes with three 90-minute disks (Kids, Teens, Adults) and all content has been licensed for use in a place of business.

Cost: $518 for the first year (includes all hardware, shipping, and handling), $120 each year thereafter. 10% off when purchasing 3 or more.

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The VR glasses can take a little getting used to if a clinician normally works from the 12:00 position, but otherwise they don’t seem to get in the way much at all. We recommend starting out with one set for the entire practice for a month or so, and if patients and assistants alike rave about your latest high-tech gadget, then go out and get a boatload of them.

This is real proof that slapping an extra zero at the end of a price doesn’t always happen just because a product is branded for the dental market. When there’s a will to make a good product at a fair price, there’s a way.

By the way, did you mean Will & Grace? Good Will Hunting? Or perhaps you’re more into There Will Be Blood?

Maybe you need a pair of VR glasses just for yourself.

Unbiased reporting about the consumers themselves.

It may be hard to believe, but patients all over the country are complaining that dentists aren’t asking them to pay their bills anymore.

For many years, consumers have taken advantage of dental practices’ good will by just “paying when they could” for their dental care. Unfortunately for many offices, this resulted in the expenses of staff time, mailing repeated statements, and simply writing off debts that were never paid.

Now that healthcare financing has come to the market, Consumer Reports (July 2008 issue) is pointing fingers at CareCredit, the Citi Health Card, Chase HealthAdvance, CapitalOne Healthcare Finance, and the dental providers themselves for allegedly taking advantage of the doctor-patient relationship.

There is no excuse for dentists who purportedly sign patients up for these programs while sedated, or otherwise abuse their patient’s credit for personal gain. Consumer Reports makes it seem like the American Dental Association itself condones this type of behavior. The purpose of healthcare financing is to benefit patients, dentists, and the participating banks. The article even affirms that the lenders take anywhere from 4.5% to 13.9% of the fees that are financed through their credit cards, which is much, much higher than traditional credit cards. Dentists pay these fees in order to give patients access to interest-free payments.

Most patients do pay off their balances within the interest-free period. Those 20 percent who do not were originally the kind that were most likely to show up in the dentists’ accounts-receivable column at the end of the year. Only now it is the banks who have accepted the burden, and because contracts are involved, so are consequences.

Is it really the dental equivalent of subprime mortgages?

Consumer Reports seems to think so. While not exactly an adjustable-rate mortgage, the default retroactive APR of 22.9% when a balance isn’t paid in full after 24 months is not news to anyone who reads the fine print on any typical credit card statement. The only money crisis in healthcare lending is that consumers are now being held accountable for their actions.

It is our culture that breeds the opinion that consumers deserve what they want, exactly when they want it, and it is this belief that is the underpinning of excessive consumer debt. Most patients want a perfect smile, but only the ones who don’t have the self-discipline to know whether or not they can even afford the payments are the ones getting snagged by the banks.

In defense of Consumer Reports, however, it does appear that some of the terms of the loan agreements are difficult to stomach, and it is agreed that some reform here would be beneficial to everyone involved.

Many consumers believe that teeth are more of a luxury than a life-and-death issue. Affirming this is the prosperity of quality dental practices which do not rely on insurance payments for their livelihood. And the bottom-line truth is that edentulism is not a risk factor for any other diseases, so it is not a liability to the overall health of a patient.

Dental insurance is a form of consumer entitlement, and healthcare financing is one strong step away from this dependency and expectation. Insurance justifies the acceptability of mediocre dentistry to the consumer. Perhaps the reality is that every dentist should move towards the model of providing excellent dental care at fees that will keep them in business, without taking advantage of those patients who need much more than just a good set of chompers in their lives.

What’s next?

Our prediction: haircare financing.

Internal Memo, Bright Happy Smile Dental Associates

From: Dr. Stan Freebie

To: All office personnel at Bright Happy Smile Dental

My dear team:

It is with great joy that I share this news with you! Starting next month, we will begin offering all of our patient services free of charge. This in no way affects your paycheck because our funding will come from generous sponsors instead of from the patients themselves.

Our insurance coordinator, Kathy, will be changing positions in the practice to take over the duty of implementing this new and exciting program. In order to qualify for this sponsorship, we will all need to modify our office routines in the following ways to allow for maximum product placement:

• When answering the phone or greeting a patient, business personnel will mention the name of the building sponsor. As an example: “Thank you for calling the Bright Happy Smile Dental Associates, brought to you by Comcast. How may I help you?”

• Any items that are given to the patient for use while in the practice (pens, cups, tissues) should be called by the name that is printed on them. Be sure to use the logo name and not the customary name; for instance, a patient napkin will now be called the Red Lobster bib.

• The liquids dispensed in any form, whether from an air-water syringe or a high-speed handpiece, should be referred to as Coca-Cola coolant.

• All crowns, fillings, and inlays/onlays will be described to the patient as dental restorations by Kay Jewelry. The exception to this are veneers; they will still be called Lumineers.

• Patients who come in for preventive maintenance will need to be informed that their dental prophylaxis appointment is now called a Jiffy Lube.

• To reduce no-shows and to improve communications with everyone who visits our practice, Kathy will be collecting the cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses of each patient so that we can send them periodic newsletters, text messages, and appointment reminder emails. Our sponsor’s logos will be included on all correspondence.*

I hope that this new series of changes inspires all of you to continue to strive towards dental excellence and office harmony. If you have any concerns about this please speak with Kathy about the policies. I’ll be taking the next two weeks off as I recover from my LA-Inked full-body Google tattoo.

Sincerely,

Dr Freebie

*This part of the memo is for real. DentalSenders currently offers the unlimited service for free to all dental practices, as long as you don’t mind the extra product placement on emails sent from your office. There are no contracts, no software to purchase, plus you’ll be able to ramp up your office efficiency by reducing the amount of time spent on the phone confirming patients. Dental Senders integrates with most practice management software programs, and it’s definitely worth a try.