Dentists have found all sorts of creative ways to boost their incomes. Just be sure your special fancy cool novel ideas aren’t compromising your ethics, like this one dentist did a few years back in Chicago. The issue at stake here is one of atonement eligibility. Some things, you just can’t do takesies backsies on. But if you were an accessory to a sex crime yet didn’t actually commit one yourself, can you get your dental license back? Yesterday’s Sun-Times reports the following:

Onetime Chicago dentist Gary Kimmel went to prison in 2009 after he admitted he aided pimps in a prostitution trafficking ring.

 The aid included providing space in Marina Towers for paid sex acts to happen, buying luxury cars for pimps in his name and keeping his office open late to fix the teeth of battered prostitutes.

In one case, Kimmel fixed a prostitute’s teeth for free in exchange for her performing sex acts for his friend, according to prosecutors.

That was back when Kimmel, affectionately referred to as “Doc” by those who know him, ran a popular and successful dental practice at 233 E. Erie.

In an emergency bid at the time of his indictment, the state stripped Kimmel of his ability to practice dentistry. He was sentenced to 37 months in 2009.

Now, Kimmel is already out of prison.

And despite his felony conviction, the Chicago Sun-Times has learned he is ready to practice dentistry again — and eligible to renew his license.

click to read the full story here

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What a swell guy, this “Doc,” thinking to himself that no good deed goes unpunished. Seriously, this was the thanks he got for giving out dentistry to battered women?

Truth is, if he does get his license back, I imagine that Dr. Kimmel’s career might ultimately be salvageable if he’s willing to be a prostitute for a pimp. Shoe on the other foot, so to speak.

Only we’ll substitute the word “dentist” for “prostitute” and “corporate dentistry” for “pimp.”

Yeah, that sounds about right.

For the most part, the American Dental Association meeting in Las Vegas this past week was a dignified, educational, and exciting exhibition. On the other hand, this article is dedicated to some of the stuff that didn’t go over so well.

Exhibit No. 1: Booth Babes

Really? If this is what it takes to sell your dental products, you probably need better products. Hot girls are nice and all, but you seem to have forgotten that half of dentists these days are women themselves.

Exhibit No. 2: Excessive use of color

I get it already. But yellow is the least of the problems here.

Exhibit No. 3: Roll it, don’t fold it

When you only have one thing hanging up at your booth, you really should make sure that thing isn’t creased and messy-looking.

Exhibit No. 4: Voyeurism

An interproximally wedged bit of corned beef begged me to visit the Sonicare AirFloss demo after lunch, and of course I’d been wanting to try it out ever since its preview here at DentalBuzz. What I didn’t realize was that a bunch of people would be peeking their heads around the corner from the sinks while I shot microbursts between my teeth.

Exhibit No. 5: You look stupid

There’s two ways to get into this group. If you’re getting paid to look like a fool, hey, in this economy, at least you have a job!  And then there’s the second way, which proves that paper crowns should only be passed out to small children at Burger King.

Exhibit No. 6: Pretentious company names

But the URL was available!!!! Even the kids wearing the orange shirts look skeptical.

Exhibit No. 7: Unpretentious company names

And sometimes you should try harder to come up with a name for your business.

Exhibit No. 8: Pawn Stars

Editing is a reality TV show’s best friend, as evidenced by the Pawn Stars Roadshow held at the ADA meeting.There were the obligatory purchases of dental gold (3.5 ounces for $2,000, on one sale) but for the most part the items that were brought on the stage for appraisal were met with yawns, disinterest, and concerns about authenticity.

One thing’s true though: the reality show’s stars are the real deal. What you see on the History Channel’s number one show is what you get. Not only did pawn shop owner Rick Harrison share his story about how he became the “media whore” that he is today (his words, not mine) and his experiences in the dental chair, we got a glimpse of the real Chumlee Russell when he accidentally fell off the back of the stage. Now I know why there are “I Heart Chumlee” shirts for sale all over Vegas.

Exhibit No. 9: Bad planning

So, you create a display area for a show that’s esthetically pleasing and then JACK IT UP with loud hand-scribbled posters. Either they forgot to offer a show deal or it’s genius marketing to make it look like they’re going out of business and have the BEST SHOW SPECIAL EVER! And what’s with the unapproachable chick stance? Wow, tough sell.

Exhibit No. 10

There’s no exhibit number ten. I just wanted to make fun of this guy again:

In remembrance of the tenth anniversary and for all the anniversaries before and after today, one sacredness will probably never be broken: no jokes about 9/11.

With that said, it does seem that we’re dealing with the tragedy a little bit better when someone in Hollywood can carefully insert it as a plot element that isn’t about inspiration, or the devastation, or any of that.

You probably recognize Jenna Fischer from her TV role in “The Office.“ With this film she’s an out-of-control New York dental hygienist whose husband dies nearly a year after 9/11. She doesn’t suck spit well, even when patients are coached by the office parrot. Dentists don’t have birds in their offices, silly screenwriters, dentists have fish. Finding Nemo got that part right, and boosted business for aquarium maintenance companies that supply clownfish to dentists.

Our character has a lot bigger problems than pooping parrots to deal with, including a son who tells everyone that his dad died on 9/11 instead of from a heart condition.

I wish that I could have reviewed this movie, overanalyzing all the inevitable dental office flubs, but it’s already come and gone from the theaters less than a month ago due to the minimal publicity it received. No worries though. You should be able to rent it (stream it, whatever you do to movie releases these days) starting October 25th so be sure to subscribe to the DentalBuzz Twitter feed for the reminder when it comes out.

Link: A Little Help official movie website

by Eva Watson

There are people that claim they are advocates of stuff; they partake in advocate-y types of things without much credence to back up their statements. Then again, there are those who are dedicated to the continuing awesomeness of support to an idea; a cause; or a spectacular organization of professionals.

Dental hygienists are pretty much the awesomeness I was referring to. Kneel when you approach.

I’m proud to introduce Mark Hartley, editor of RDH Magazine and overall good guy, to the DentalBuzz audience.

Mark took some time to answer questions while he was busy attending RDH/Under One Roof.

DB: How did you become the editor of RDH Mag?

MH: I was basically a flunky for RDH throughout most of the 1980s and early 1990s. Did proofreading, subbed in for editors when they were on vacation or on the road. In 1995, PennWell acquired RDH and asked me to help with the transition. I must have done all right, because the company asked me to stay on as the editor. So I have been the editor since 1995.

DB: A flunky- I love it. How have your opinions evolved regarding the dental hygiene industry over the course of sixteen years with RDH Magazine?

MH: I think I recognized that hygienists such as Irene Woodall, Regina Dreyer, Trisha O’Hehir, etc., were part of a second generation of leaders, guiding the profession to where it is today. But I don’t think I had a full appreciation of it until I became the editor. I have always encouraged hygienists to express themselves as writers, and I think the magazine fortunately has witnessed that during the past 16 years.

There have been some terrific writers over the past 16 years. If I may so, you’re a proud member of the current generation. On another front, manufacturers have always supported the ADHA and RDH magazines throughout the years. But I think we have actually observed them being actively engaged with the profession. RDH Under One Roof is one example of it. Another example is the career growths of dental hygienists who embarked on second careers with corporations. They used to be just “professional educators,” sent out to the state hygiene meetings to do seminars. But all of the major dental corporations now have dental hygienists in key positions, and they are profoundly influencing the relationship between manufacturers and dental hygienists.

DB: RDH Magazine is an outstanding vehicle for hygienists to stamp vital opinions in. Have you seen an increase in dentist support for the publication during the years? Or is the current consensus from dentists the ever-present, “Dental hygiene?  It’s not rocket science.  Any schmuck can clean teeth.”?

MH: We did a survey last April where 103 dental hygienists commented on the politics of the relationship between the two professions. Interestingly, 57% said their boss would vote in favor of dental hygiene to enhance patient care if a state board asked the hygienist’s employer to cast the deciding vote. We also asked who was the most supportive person in a dental office. “Dentists” was the largest response at 38%. That, of course, is not a majority. But the next highest percentage was “no one” at 21%, followed by 17% who indicated a front office person was the most supportive. So, hygienists are naturally, very offended by derogatory attitudes on the political level. On a personal career level, it’s a different story.

DB: You know what would be great? A national game of ‘Capture the Flag’ between RDHs and dentists. Only the youngest, fittest, and newly-licensed hygienists hungry for jobs would represent our side while the dentist team would have the most burnt-out, crotchety, old-men with a penchant for thirty-minute prophylaxes screaming, “Off sides! Those hygienists are off sides!” when, all along, the dentists just got frustrated because they know the RDHs were much better at capturing their flag.  I would definitely watch that game.

MH: Well, I’d hate to see myself as a cheerleader. I think the spectators would be thoroughly depressed with that image. On the other hand, we recently did a rate-uniform-scrubs survey; it was sort of a Project Runway voting on dental uniforms. One person wrote in to say she would like to see me in one of those scrub tops. I guess I could bite the bullet for the home team.

DB: Yeah, baby!  Just please let the scrub top be of a solid color. The unsettling vision of you sporting a Betty-Boop printed scrub top is not quite the lasting impression the fans need to see.  Know what I mean?

MH: Absolutely. Even the three dogs who own me would howl mournfully, long into the night.

It takes an exceptional person to admit their limitations in the arena of dental scrub top fashion. There are only so many horrific prints our eyes can handle.

Just in case you missed the rash of Chuck Norris facts that Chuck Norris himself loves to cheese about on the talk show circuit, here’s a quick cluster of ‘em written by periodontist and private surgical tutor Anthony Reganato, DDS, MS.

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To me, a “Chuck Norris” implant is not one that is threaded into place with a handpiece.  A “Chuck Norris” implant actually spins the patient around and around until the implant is sitting exactly where it wants to sit…

A “Chuck Norris” implant does not require an osteotomy, anesthesia, flap, or even a patient to be seated in the mouth.

A” Chuck Norris” implant can be immediately placed after roundhouse kicking the bombed-out tooth right out of the mouth.

A” Chuck Norris” implant does not have threads…the outer coating is merely shaking in its boots just knowing that a can of whoop-ass may be unleashed at any time…

A “Chuck Norris” implant provides its own sedation to the patient…no need for drugs or tubes…also provides its own pre-med.

A “Chuck Norris” implant needs only one to be placed for an entire full mouth reconstruction.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can be placed via extra-oral approach and still end up in the ideal prosthetic position.

A “Chuck Norris” implant drives itself to the dental office in a 1965 ‘Vette everyday until it’s finally used…

A “Chuck Norris” implant is prosthetically compatible with every system except Zimmer… “Chuck Norris” implant just don’t play that.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can be inserted upside down and still work just fine.

A “Chuck Norris” implant can cure cancer.

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Now that your ruggedness has been piqued, you’ll want to YouTune here into Anthony’s Reganato Lecture Series and tap, tap deeply into your own inner spring of surgical ChuckNorrisdom.

So what have you seen “Chuck Norris” implants do? How have they helped your patients?

by Eva Watson

Notable people are not of this earth; they are quintessentially, superhero-perfect in every way.  From their sparkly, alien eyes to their effervescent way they secretly speak to us through television, film, books and music, their aura of mesmerizing personalities and fan-stalking abilities truly places them on a much higher plane of being.  They are alluring.  They are special.

And most would not give me the time of day.

But I must be able to touch the divine; I must know about their teeth.

William Jablonsky, professor of English at Loras College and author of The Indestructible Man (Livingston Press) and his most recent novel, The Clockwork Man (Medallion Press), granted me permission to briefly ask about his oral health regimen and his thoughts on electric toothbrushes.

DB: Why is oral health important to you?

WJ: Primarily because I don’t want to look like a stereotypical Englishman, nor to have breath that can peel the chrome off a trailer.

DB: If you had to choose between flossing in the morning or night which would you choose and why?

WJ: I feel fortunate that I do not have to choose, but if I did, the morning, simply because that’s when I’d actually be thinking about it.

DB: What would be the ultimate feature of an electric toothbrush?

WJ: One that has a built-in Taser. I prefer my methods of self-defense to be non-lethal.

DB: What would be the best tasting toothpaste ever?

WJ: Chicken tikka masala-flavored toothpaste. No one would buy it but me, but I’d buy all of it.

Why the toothpaste industry hasn’t begun to develop alternative-flavored toothpaste is a mystery to me, but clearly, huge changes are needed to meet the demand for those who desire the dentifrice, taste sensation that is meat.

Ready for another installment of  Timewarp Tuesdays and some IN YOUR FACE insult marketing?

What I love most about this 1906 ad from LD Caulk (now part of Dentsply) is how it trash-talks the competition while at the same time not really quantifying why their amalgamated alloy is better. Theirs is better why? Because they say so. Because they have “delicate laboratory instruments” and “full scientific equipment.

One other thing that’s interesting, try looking at Google Maps to see what is now built at the SE corner of Broad and Chestnut Streets in Philly. That’s some prime real estate, one block from Penn Square downtown.

Apparently their product was worthy enough to help Caulk amass a small fortune and survive until the present day so we can’t totally dismiss the claims as bogus. Then again, alloy itself has made it into the 21st century, but not without a fight, what with mercury fears and the demand for tooth-colored restorations.

The next time you see a 50-year old amalgam in a patient’s mouth, you can thank turn-of-the-century tech for recognizing that expansion and contraction have always been the bane of alloys, and that filling you’re seeing is proof of Caulk’s “knowledge and accuracy” 50 years later. So 100 years of success- that ain’t a bad track record.
And one more takeaway? Carpet-bagging still exists, only today when you “get what you pay for” we call it dabbling in the grey market.

by Trish Walraven

Alabama’s reputation in dentistry has recently been elevated to EPIC FAIL status.

According to today’s news at DrBicuspid.com, dental students at the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) are deficient in their education. They’re playing video games at the retirement homes instead of doing dentistry, unless you count “brushing someone’s teeth” as doing dentistry. A whole lot of other allegations are being raised as well, but I thought this one especially was worth a hoot and a holler.

SPANK!

Take that, Alabama! This little slap will teach you not to hand out licenses to dental professionals without requiring students to take a national board exam first. Or even go to college first. Hey, does this mean that a dentist from Alabama will only be able to get work as a dental assistant in all the other states, like licensed dentists from other countries, until they pass the OTHER states’ board exams? The good news is that now that there’s a bunch of eyes on the situation brewing at this dental college, maybe there will be a tasty intervention coming. Remember, the first step in recovery is admitting that you have a problem.

Get the whole story here at Dr. Bicuspid (you may need to subscribe first). And if you’re from Alabama, sorry for the smack. Does it help you forgive me a little if I say I loved Alabama in Forrest Gump?

by Eva Watson

I act dumb. Full stop. I’m a grown woman who acts like an immature twit. I’m constantly making fun of everything. When I noticed crunchy, dried-up boogers sticking to the wall next to my three-year-old’s bed, I said, “Syd? Santa thinks that’s disgusting. Now you’re on his disgusting list. Great.” So cruel. I can’t even write maturely. I once wrote an article on

recommendations for thwarting raccoon thievery of my summer garden strawberries; the segment was titled, ‘Raccoon Smasher Garden Patrol’… (snort) See? Tasteless. I can’t help myself. Life gets stupid. But it doesn’t stop there. My adolescent humor even seeps into my care of patients.

A young guy was in my operatory chair. He hadn’t had a professional scaling in four years. I was about to begin his SRP when he said, “I might be a big baby when you get in there.” I laughed and said, “That’s what I tell my OB/Gyn.” Later, when the guy asked to see another hygienist, I said to myself, “I’m so retarded.”

Another patient attempted to describe what sounded like floss threaders. She went on for more than five minutes trying to describe what floss threaders looked like. I finally said, “You mean those furry, tampon-y thingies with the long string attached? Yeah, I have those.” After the patient rolled her eyes and asked to speak with the dentist privately, I thought to myself, “I’m so juvenile. Why do I do that?”

With the influx of dental products out there, I wish there was a device to zap me with low-voltage electrical currents when I misbehave; like a TENS unit but angrier. As soon as I unleash a nasty one—zzzzt! Owie. Everything would be fine after that, but I’d have to explain to patients why my hair has a static electricity boner. I suppose it doesn’t have to be a dental product, per se. It could be manufactured by a urologist for what it’s worth. They could call it The Electrical Nerve Punisher.

I don’t know. Perhaps it’s not a good idea after all.

Since art is subjective, I won’t go there. These photos are mostly cakes collected from all over the web, and were just worth sharing. Enjoy!

Delicious dentin, savory enamel, and yum, PULP CHAMBER!

I’d like a slice of interproximal decay, please.

Mrs. Toof had herself a bunch of babies. But some of them don’t look like Mr. Toof.

George needs perio treatment and a few implants. Wait, you’re in London? Nevermind, these are good British teeth.

A cake with a busted lip? Naw, just the 35th anniversary of Rocky Horror, time-warped next week especially for Glee fans.

Too much CSI on TV these days.

Really creepy and not something I would want to eat or stick my hand into. Fortunately you can click on the photo above and see that this ended up being really artistic.

Minimalism at its Halloween coolest.

I can just imagine the staff arguing about who gets to chew on the dentist.

Annoying Orange, meet your nemesis.

If you know of any other tasty dental endeavors, feel free to link them below in the Comments, especially if you’re creating them for Halloween. Just don’t make me look at another puking pumpkin carving. Why not, you ask? It’s the smell. It reeks even though it’s only a picture.